Yoshino awoke in a daze, still aware of the tightness that had previously held her neck. She breathed painfully, drawing in slow breaths while slow tears wet her pale cheeks. I was right, she thought to herself with a cynical chuckle. The tears never do come to an end. It’s just an endless sea of emotions that floods all too readily….

Huh? Am I awake? The light hurts. Please don’t let me wake up….

There was a small child running in the fields, chasing butterflies through the marigolds as her loving mother watched with a smile on her gentle face. The musical laughter of the child echoed through the fields and into the far off distance, into the blue skies and what might lie beyond the sight of man. Her sundress was only momentarily clean, as the grass brushed against her garments and tinted them a shade of green.

“My daughter!” called the mother. “Your clothes! I just washed them!”

The daughter sulked, turning from her previous busywork to begin walking properly, in a more “ladylike” fashion. She returned to her mother with a pout on her face.

“Now, child,” said the mother, kneeling so that she could see her daughter’s dark brown eyes, “there are things in this world we don’t like, and I know that. But bad things always seem to happen to people.

“You know, the people who really are going to make it in this crazy world we live in are those people with strong hearts. They have the power to survive even though bad things happen to them. My mother called these bad things ‘adversity.’ She told me that strength of heart in the face of adversity is the only guarantee of survival.” She smiled at her little child, who stared at her, wide-eyed, her head confusedly tilted to the side. “I know these words don’t make sense to you, but perhaps one day they will make all the sense in the world. Now, let’s go home.”

She closed her hand around the tiny one of her little girl, and they walked off into the distance.

“Is she awake?”

“I’m not sure.”

“What were we planning on doing with her, anyway?”

“There are options….”

“You WHAT?”

Sonya bowed her head in shame, tightening her grip on Yoshino’s naginata, which she had retrieved after the kidnappers had been well out of sight. “I didn’t know what to do. I either had to sacrifice her presence or risk sacrificing her life. Wouldn’t you have made the same decision if it were you?”

Silence. No one would argue. No one could argue. Yoshino had saved them from being captured by the Jowston City-States, risking everything. They could do little in return, but keeping her alive would have been a good start….

“We have to do something,” whispered one of the sailors.

“Obviously,” answered another, “but we don’t know where to begin! We don’t know where they are!”

“Or even if she’s alive,” muttered a third, under her breath.

“But something is a start, and I believe that shall be where we begin,” said Sonya curtly as she whirled around with a furious glint in her eye. “We’ll split up and search around for any sign of her within a two mile radius and return with any news we have.”

Jennifer sighed and buried her face in her hands. “I hope… for her sake, and for ours… that she comes back to us safely. I’m sure Freed would be really pissed off if he found out that a bunch of Toran soldiers just waltzed in and took his wife away to a forest where she got killed.”

“No!” retorted Sonya, shaking a white-knuckled fist in the air. “That should be the last thing on our minds. We have to keep in mind that we still can find her. If we give up now, we won’t look as hard. It’s going to be hard to find her in this place… I mean, we’ve hardly been here ourselves… but well… we can do this if we give it a shot… oh, great, now I sound soft and cliché.”

“No, go ahead, go on,” urged Billiana. “You’re our superior, General Shulen. You can do and say whatever you want. Don’t forget that. You’re not being yourself right now. Even back when we were men, you took charge with a swift and ruthless vengeance. Or maybe it was because we were men….”

Sonya turned away. He… uh… she’s right. Maybe it is that much harder to command a bunch of women… though it’s hard to believe, since they’re still the same essential people…

Suddenly, she stamped her foot down on the ground. All her sailors started at the sudden action and stared, ready for their esteemed general’s orders.

Sonya closed her eyes and knotted her eyebrows. Her hands and teeth were clenched tightly, and she could feel a strange but intense emotion building inside of her. It was… an incredibly seething anger…. Against whom? The kidnappers? Clearly. The wizards that had placed them in this predicament in the first place? Obviously. Her subordinates’ stupidity? Yes, always. Herself?

Herself? For having let all this happen? For not being the general she normally was? For endangering everyone? For being…

softhearted?

Absolutely.

“GET MOVING!” she screamed, and her sailors bolted off in all directions while she furiously thrust the naginata into a nearby tree.

“I will find her…” Sonya muttered to herself, “or my life will end here, I swear it by the 27 True Runes.

“Why… does that sound familiar?”

Yoshino awoke, a little dazed, feeling the dried tears still on her face. Her throat and lungs still ached, her only sign that perhaps she still was alive on the physical earth of the Runes. Stop… she thought to herself. The pain… why won’t it stop? Am I nearing the edge of life, ready to drop into that eternal darkness of death?

Perhaps this isn’t so bad. Death occurs to make way for new life….

What a strange word that is… “Death”…. Is death painful, or is it just a slow progression to the ultimate unconsciousness? When I die, will I find that there is an afterlife, and if so, will it be much like the world the way it is now? Will I find out what life is all about? What will happen if my death happens here?

If I die here, Freed will suffer greatly… but he will still have his memories of me. If I die here, Michiko will wait for me, a faint shadow in the memories of the people, never to return… but she will eventually go on with her life and forget about “Mrs. Yamamoto”. And Sonya, a general of the Toran Republic… what of her? Would she lose her position? Would anyone know that she even knew me? And if they did, would it cause turmoil? How great? War, perhaps?

War…

Undoubtedly. It would be devastating. Sonya would be blamed for the kidnapping and murder of the wife of the highly esteemed Freed Yamamoto, and she would have no way of convincing the City-State that she didn’t do it, that I left of my own free will. And the City-State would condemn the morals of Toran, having appointed a general who would do such an abominable deed. And they would attack in their wrath. And people would die in battle, in pain, rather than living their lives in peace, at home, with their families. And it would all be because I made two simple decisions—one began my journey, and the next just might end it.

End it…

No.

I won’t have it.

People’s lives are too promising to lose over a simple woman. It would be a meaningless war of misunderstandings. And in truth, I would be the one to blame.

Don’t let it happen. Don’t you dare make Freed mourn. Don’t you dare make Michiko worry. Don’t you dare make Sonya fear the consequences of your death.

Don’t give in to the Reaper just yet, Yoshino. Don’t give your life to have others give up theirs.

Yoshino slowly opened her tired eyes to see the rainwater dripping to the soft earth from the trees above her. Truly alive, she thought to herself, and smiled. Wonderful. I have many other lives to save.

I’ll be home, Freed. You wait and see. You’ll never know that I left.

Her hand delicately moved to palm the water amulet that hung around her neck.

Never forget that I love you….

Sonya ran ahead, seeing only well enough to dodge the unlucky trees that crossed her path. Using both her own weapon and Yoshino’s naginata, she slashed everything on her way, her frustration a lethal weapon in itself. She herself felt a burning in her eyes, one that she would not let overtake her. She had been trained… she had always been carefully trained… to control her emotions… no matter what….

I’m not afraid. That’s impossible.

Impossible because she had been through just about anything that could ever frighten a person. She had seen death come upon her soldiers, skirted it herself a great many times, and had come to the conclusion that death just happened as a result of life, and that there was so very little that a person could do about such a thing.

Her feet continued to pound the earth, pushing her onward as she pushed all the thoughts out of her head. She couldn’t let herself feel; she could only exist and do what was just.

“Halt!” cried a shrill voice overhead.

Sonya didn’t. She just kept running and would not stop, would not look back. A thud was heard behind her, then quick, light footsteps following her.

“You have returned!” exclaimed the voice behind her. “RanRan! TenTen! Let’s go! She’s going after our hostage!”

Two more thuds came from behind her.

“Yoshino!” cried Sonya, but her legs did not stop running. She had to find her friend…

“Sonya…” whispered Yoshino. It was surprisingly painstaking work, but she managed to get herself on her feet. “Don’t worry…”

“Yoshino…”

Was that…?

“Sonya!” Yoshino managed to choke out. She fell to the ground, landing on her hands and knees, and began coughing violently.

It had been distant, yet seemingly clear. Yoshino heard other distant voices now, threatening ones that caused her heart to jump right up into her throat.

“Yoshino!” It was clear now. Sonya was near, perhaps even here… but the mind itself is a powerful weapon that can be pitted against oneself in times of desperation….

“You’re safe…” came the soft voice when an arm was placed around her shoulders. This comforting feeling… it had to be real….

Her naginata lay on the ground in front of her now, waiting for her to pick it up and defend herself. Timidly, she reached for it. It felt good in her hands. She looked up at Sonya, who had taken a defensive stance and had a stern look on her face. Other voices were chattering, ones that she recognized….

“RinRin! Her stick weapon thingy has a pointy end on it!”

“So?”

“So it could hurt!”

Yoshino shoved the blade of her naginata into the ground and pulled herself onto her feet. She could breathe without a great effort now, and she had a renewed energy, an unconditional love for people that could not be avoided. She had to survive, and she knew it. It was for those lives out there, those hopes. The last thing Yoshino wanted was for all of that to end because one woman made one simple decision….

One last tear fell, slowly making its way down her face as she turned to face her enemy, weapon in hand. “I’m ready for my training, Sonya.”

Sonya’s reply was silence and a swift, thrusting attack. Clear the mind, she thought to herself. Focus. Focus.

Yoshino followed behind her, her narrowed eyes peering through carefully placed spectacles that never hindered her in the least, that almost became a part of her being. A part of her personality, if you will. Yes, she was the type of person that you could call intelligent, as she had been well-schooled as a child, but in a way, she was not so far-seeing….

Sonya, with a great cry that echoed through every tree in the forest, thrust her spear at RinRin, the pig-tailed one, drawing a good amount blood from a gaping wound on her arm. Yoshino cringed at the sight and whapped TenTen squarely on the back with the long wooden handle of her naginata. TenTen quickly countered and struck Yoshino’s leg with a long staff, causing her to topple over. In an instant, RanRan stood ready to deliver a punishing blow to Yoshino’s head. Yoshino’s heart beat crazily, and she stared wide-eyed at her attacker, then braced herself for the blow.

What she felt were drops of warm liquid spattering her face, hands, and clothes. The girl’s staff clattered to the ground nearby. Astonished that her head had not been obliterated, Yoshino looked up at RanRan, who was screaming, her face in her hands, bright crimson droplets streaming down her arms.

Yoshino moaned weakly. She’d seen blood before, yes, but never to this degree. The kind of injury she was used to was the occasional injured traveler with some scrapes or bruises. This was definitely something else altogether.

“Yoshino, concentrate!” commanded General Shulen, who had managed to cause RinRin to retreat. Sonya now attacked TenTen with a swift swipe across the abdomen. Blood spurted from the gash and spattered on the ground in the direction of the attack.

Yoshino, in the meantime, was concentrating so hard that she was in shock. Her mind only watched. It saw blood. But it could not comprehend.

“Watch out!”

Billiana jumped in and came to Sonya’s rescue this time, intercepting RanRan’s attack before it could meet its mark. Outnumbered, RanRan and TenTen quickly escaped into the deep forest, leaving a dark crimson trail behind them. Sonya and Billiana approached Yoshino, who lay on the ground with her eyes closed, sprinkled with blood, breathing heavily.

She heard their footsteps. She heard their voices. But she did not listen. She only heard her thoughts.

So cruel… but there was so little choice—it was them or thousands of citizens from two countries… but there must have been a feasible way of sparing them the pain, there must have. No, that is their lifestyle, their nature to attack people…. Still, I wish I hadn’t lost heart at the first sign of battle. The blood, the wounds, the scars…. I’m sorry Mother. My heart, after all these years, is still weak… but…

I will make myself a promise. I will find the person I hope to be. I will find a Yoshino who is strong and wise and who is her own person. Don’t worry, Mother. I will find the strength of my heart.

Yoshino opened her eyes to see two smiling faces looking down upon her. Above them, rays of sunlight danced between the leaves of the trees. Yoshino faintly smiled. Life was lived for moments like this.

With some effort, though considerably less than before, she managed to stand up and dust herself off.

“Let’s get back to camp,” she said.

The trio turned to the path leading back that had been so cleverly marked by trees with giant slashes running diagonally across their sturdy trunks and shrubs that had been chopped into pieces.

And that evening, the people of the Toran Republic and those of the Jowston City-State discussed issues such as the maniacal Prince Ruka and the impending Highland threat. But no one mentioned the trials of the quiet, conservative Yoshino of Radat. But it was better that they didn’t know.

Only a short distance now separated the travelers from the border of the Toran Republic.

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"Yoshino" and "Suikoden 2" are (C) Konami. This chapter was posted on July 6, 2000