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"Say Goodbye" (A ship to Banner) We’re leaving. I thought this day would never come. I thought that I would spend the rest of my life as Mrs. Yamamoto, the kindly woman who lives on the street corner and does the laundry. Strange how things can change in less time than it takes for a griffin to flap its wing. The sailors’ voices from above were muffled but could still faintly be heard. Yoshino gently let out the air she held in her lungs. It seemed so strange, but it felt good to be away from the familiar faces that she had known for the past years, the kind hearts of the simple people of Radat. Perhaps things weren’t as bad as they seemed. Yoshino didn’t know. Yoshino didn’t care at this point. Not caring… that was so uncharacteristic of her…. Everything lately was inconceivably uncharacteristic of her. No one knew the truth of what she was going through, and if anyone did, no one was prepared to believe an iota of it. She’d been so… constant. Her actions were unchanged all those years. She’d become predictable. Yoshino from the other day wouldn’t have minded at all. The Yoshino that now sat in the cargo hold of a ship to Banner, however, wouldn’t have had it. Somehow it seemed that only she knew that. She turned her head to the left, where a prominent general slept with her head on a bag of cattle feed. Yoshino’s face produced a slight smile. Ah, the ironies of real life. They are that much more fascinating because of their reality. The reality of everything…. Yoshino could feel it around her, but in her mind everything seemed so incredibly fantastic. Yesterday was further away than anyone could have ever dreamed. Or maybe yesterday was a dream, and today was reality. Or maybe she was still dreaming. Who could tell? Truth itself is such an abstract concept…. Perhaps nothing is concrete in this world. Yoshino slowly drew in a breath of air and looked around. This world is so confusing. I don’t know what will happen… I don’t even know what has happened or what is happening now. She removed her glasses and shut her eyelids, shaking her head. The back of her eyes stung…. She hated being confused; at least she knew that well. Tears? Again? The salty wetness streaked her fair cheeks. Had she ever cried this much before? Had she ever cried before? Regardless, it felt good. Yoshino had to admit that to herself. Something in her had let up. Something in her had broken. Something else… some intense, unknown emotion… was pouring out of her…. And it felt inconceivably good. She sniffled… and smiled. She was smiling. How was that so? How could that possibly be so? She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms. Sobbing and smiling simultaneously…. Perhaps she truly was going crazy. Whatever. It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. She just had to put in her greatest effort… so she might return to Freed as seemingly the same woman who had left…. No, that was impossible. Even if she did try, it was beyond human ability to revert her to her original state. She raised her head and sniffled again. Nothing matters. What has happened doesn’t matter. I can’t change it. No one can change it. I have to accept the decisions I have made… I have to accept this new side of myself that I’ve never known. I’m… someone else now. I’ll just have to conform to my environment…. She trembled. My life was never my own… and now that it is, I have lost myself…. Confusion. Complete and utter confusion. Nothing was clear. Nothing could be clear to her, not in her state of mind. Who was she? Who had she been? Slow down… just… slow down… and stop trying to figure it out…. Maybe then… perhaps only then… things really will begin to make sense. Yoshino slowed her breathing. All right, let’s try this from the beginning. My name is Yoshino Yamamoto. I was born in South Window. I live in a town called Radat. I am married to a man named Freed. I have left home temporarily. I hope to return soon, but I will not return until I know I am ready…. Ready? When will I be ready? No, don’t answer that. You will know when it is time. Yoshino shook her head. She really should stop having conversations with herself in her mind. Well, there was nothing she could do about what has already become. Only tomorrow mattered. In tomorrow, she instilled all of her hopes. Yoshino laid her head on a bag of flour and closed her eyes. This is it. Plan for the future, Yoshino. That’s the way to live. When she awoke, she was not quite certain of her consciousness. It was that in-between feeling of a sort of levitation, as of a dream faintly melding into reality. And perhaps that’s what it was. Whatever it was, it didn’t last very long. She suddenly realized that she was being gently shaken. “Yoshino, wake up! The ship has stopped.” Yoshino stretched and yawned. Sonya stood over her, looking very weary. “Yoshino, you sleepy head, we have to get out of here quick.” The flaxen-haired general yawned herself. “Stupid contagious yawns,” she muttered. Yoshino smiled. “I suppose we have to find out where Billiana and the others have hidden themselves, hm?” “Well, uh….” “What? What is it?” “The, uh, crew, uh, came down to get the cargo, and, uh….” Yoshino sat up and raised an eyebrow. “And…?” “Well, let’s just say Henrietta got mad and the crew of this ship ended up all running off with bloody noses.” Yoshino smiled and shook her head. That could be taken two different ways…. “I guess this means that we’re going to have to get out of here as soon as possible. Am I right, Sonya?” Sonya nodded grimly as an answer. “Then we have no time to lose. Find your crew and let’s get out of here. Do you know where we’re going?” “Yes, there’s a forest path out of Banner that leads to the Toran border. From there it will be easy for me and my crew to return home.” “When is it best to leave?” “Night has fallen. We can go in less than an hour.” “All right.” “Yoshino?” “Yes?” “Are you all right with this?” Yoshino’s face was stoic. She blinked a few times, then replied, “I have started a new life on this journey. I have no regrets. I have already said goodbye to my old life. I will live for tomorrow.” Sonya turned to leave. “Then let us go.”
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