And she saw herself. Saw her pick up her spear and try to fight back that tide of grasping claws and shredding teeth, and saw herself stop, hesitate. Saw hands as white as snow, that had never held a weapon, draw her back, and then cast her, cast her down and down, into a dark pit that had never known light.

Saw herself die.

She woke up screaming, jerking upwards from the cot that she lay on, her body bathed in sweat.
Her throat was raw, her lips cracked; after a few seconds, her voice gave out, collapsed into a hacking, wheezing cough that made her entire body shudder. A strong, large hand came to rest on her shoulder, and guided her back to the cot. "It's all right, child," an unfamiliar, gravelly voice said. "It's all right now. You're safe. Can you tell me your name, child?"

Too dazed and weary to argue, or even resist, she let herself lie down, let the hands guide the blankets up to her neck. "Tomo," she whispered. "It's Tomo."

"Good, then your fever has broken. Do you remember me?" As her eyes began to focus, she could see that sitting next to the cot was a giant of a woman, clad here and there in makeshift bits of armour, bearing a sword. She might have been frightening, but Tomo was beyond fear. And her eyes were tender, and gentle.

"No...Have..." She tried to speak, but her words dissolved into a fit of dry coughing. The woman half raised her up, guided a water skin to her lips. Tomo drank thirstily.

"Not too much," the woman warned. "You'll make yourself ill. My name is Hannah, as I told you last time you awoke, but I suppose you were too delirious then to remember. What do you remember?"

"I...I remember...I remember the attack!" Tomo tried to rise, but the woman applied a gentle pressure to her chest and lay her back down; there was no strength in her to resist. "Highland soldiers everywhere!"

no one told her death had a smell

She shivered at the strangeness of the thought. "My mother...I wanted to fight, but...she told me to hide, in the cellar. She was going to follow me, but there was a voice, and, and she shut the trap door. Then there was this crash, and the door wouldn't open.

hands as white as snow, that had never held a weapon, draw her back, and then cast her, cast her down and down, into a dark pit that had never known light

Snippets, of thoughts, coming faster and faster...she'd lost control over the shaking of her body, was trembling uncontrollably. "It was so dark, and then, it was very quiet."

silence of the tomb

"And I knew I was trapped..."

buried alive

"And then I don't remember...I don't remember anything..."

dead

She touched her cheeks, and felt the tears...the trembling of her fingertips made the salty water slide across her cheek, and she let her hands fall to her lap. She couldn't stop the shivering; it was as if the cold of the cellar had settled into her bones, and wouldn't be moved. "How...how long has it been?"

"Four days," Hannah replied gently. "It was only yesterday that I found you, and that was only luck. You should be thankful."

dead

"My mother?" Please, please, please.

Hannah lowered her head, sighed. "I'm sorry. There were only a handful of survivors...those that weren't killed by Ruka Bright were rounded up and executed. Your mother's odds...and that she didn't come back for you..."

"Oh." For a sharp instant, it felt as if the world had slipped out from underneath her and run away, and she fell. But only for a second, and then there was...nothing, like a smooth scar, and there was nothing else to say. But she felt colder.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. I'm very hungry."

Hannah looked at her gently. "I understand. I'll see if I can find you something to eat. Do you think you can stand up? I'll help you outside."

It was only then that Tomo realized that they were inside, nestled in the shattered remains of one of the villager's houses. The walls were shattered and the roof was little more than a skeleton. For a moment, she thought about saying no, but...

tomb

"Yes, I think so." Hannah offered Tomo a hand and she took it and rose, stumbling a little on weak, unsteady legs. But she could walk. "I'm all right to stand on my own," she reported. Nonetheless, Hannah guided her by the arm as they walked out of the tomb and into the day. She squinted up at the sun, savouring the sweet pain of the light for a moment. "I thought I was going to die," she whispered to Hannah, who merely patted her on the shoulder awkwardly and helped her to sit, back against a burnt tree. Hannah herself walked a short distance away, and began rooting through a pack sitting in the dust. After a moment, she returned, unwrapping a packet of trail rations that she'd seen her father eat sometimes.

"Do you have any family?" Hannah asked as they ate. "Anyone you can go to?"

"Anyone I can go to?" Tomo delayed her answer by biting down into the dusty, dry rations and chewing at length. Thought about her father.

death and darkness

If my father could've done anything to help me, he would've saved mother. She swallowed, painfully. "No, I don't. My mother was all that I had." For just a second, she felt again that odd sensation of falling, and then that, too, sealed off. Was this pain? Loss? She felt nothing.

Hannah nodded slowly. "Do you have any idea what you should do now?"

"I'd like to bathe," Tomo replied slowly. She was wearing the same clothes she'd been wearing the day of the attack; she stunk.

"That's not what I meant, child. I meant, in the long term. What should you do, where should you go?"

Another long chew. "The Highland army...what about it?"

"Still in the area, as far as I know," Hannah replied. "But I haven't been very far from the village since the attack. I stayed here to bury the dead."

"Thank you." She took another bite, reached for the water skin. "I guess I should head for Muse, then. Mayor Anabelle will be doing something for the survivors, right? She has to."

"I suppose." Hannah shrugged. "I'm going to stay here, for now, but I can furnish you with some money and some food that should get you as far as the capital."

"You're very kind."

Hannah said nothing. They finished their rations in silence.

Tomo coughed uncomfortably as the quiet dragged on. "I think I'll do down to the river and take a quick bath, wash out my clothes. I feel disgusting."

Hannah nodded slowly. "You think you can make it to the bank and back again?"

"Yes, definitely. Thank you for your help." Bracing her back against the wall of the building and levered herself to a standing position. The height dizzied her, and she cursed her weakness.

"Are you sure you don't want some help?" There was concern in Hannah's eyes.

"No, it's okay...if you just give me something, like a staff..."

a spear

"...That I can support myself with, I'll be fine..."

fine

dead

I should feel something. Somehow, she'd managed to make it down the steep embankment to the riverside. Hannah had insisted on coming that far with her, just to be safe, and had made her promise that she'd come see her at least once before she headed for Muse.

The water was cool against her skin, and the water wasn't flowing very fast. Sunlight bathed the river, and she was safe. Tomo rolled onto her back and lay in the water, her hair spread about her head, dancing in the current. Her clothes, washed and wrung out, lay on a rock in the sunlight with the wooden staff Hannah had found for her, nearby. She closed her eyes and let her mind run with the river.

I should go to Ryube. Maybe father...

There was ink spreading on the water, blurring and distorting her memories...no, that was a dream...

But even so. He can protect me.

I don't want...I don't need protecting...

The hand wrapped around her throat and shoved her head under water, and she swallowed the river as her thoughts shattered. Above her, above the surface of the water, she could see a distorted figure standing over her. The hand around her throat was big and strong, and the other hand...

...the other hand was everywhere...

Tomo screamed under water, and swallowed more water. Spots danced in her eyes, and the world spun around like a top. She lashed out with hands, feet, heart, and felt her foot connect with the hard bone of her attacker's knee. His...definitely his...howl of pain was muted by the water, but he let go of her throat and she sat up, desperately trying to draw in enough air to scream. Her assailant fell back and sat down hard, in the water, snarling. Her vision cleared and she could see him, clad in the filthy and ragged remains of a Highland uniform. There was something tattooed on his cheek...some kind of animal, stylized and in profile, a wolf, or maybe a fox...

He lunged at her, his breathing fast. He was bigger than she was, but he looked tired...he had a dagger at his belt, she was naked and unarmed. She chose prudence, splashing water in his face as she scrambled backwards towards her clothes and the staff. He caught her ankle; she kicked it aside and finally mastered herself enough to scream, long and loud as she struggled to her feet. "Pretty one, pretty one," he whispered, rising and drawing his knife.

"Please," she whispered, her throat too hoarse now to scream. "Please, don't..." She groped behind her with her hand, and her fingers brushed the shaft of the staff. Her fist closed around it and she brought it up between her and the wolf-man, slipping into one of the stances her father had taught her. He laughed.

So she knocked out a couple of his teeth, her anger overcoming her fear. He fell back into the water, spitting blood. "Don't make me," Tomo whispered, and that was all she had time for. Roaring with fury, he lunged at her, and she barely had time to bring the length of the staff up between herself and him before he collided with her, and drove her - hard - onto the hard, rocky bank of the river.

And he was still, and quiet, and she felt blood on her stomach.

His face, eyes suddenly made glassy, was resting against hers. His breath, his last breath, stank of fish.

It was definitely a wolf. A red wolf.

Gagging, she struggled for a moment before shoving him off of her. He splashed into the shallow edge of the water. The staff, when he'd collided with her, had punched straight into his chest.

And it had killed him. He was dead.

dead

The air was cool, but that wasn't why she trembled. It was as if his hands were still on her, still everywhere at once, still...still...She gasped, rolled onto her knees, and was sick into the water.

more

The trembling overcame her, and for a moment she couldn't move. But the fear was still too strong, and his blood...his blood was warm...She wondered how long it would take before he began to reek like death, like the pit...

deaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddead

DEAD!

The silence was heavy as Hannah picked her way down the bank to the edge of the river, her sword naked in her hand. "Tomo?" she called out. "Tomo, are you all right? I thought I heard a scream. Child?"

She stepped in something, and looked down.

"Oh, no...oh, oh, no..."