No meaning for an existence?

When all hope is lost and all loves forgotten, there is only one option for the distraught soul to turn to. Its consequences are grave, and its effects are permanent. A desperate mind clings to a simple solution.

There is no meaning to my existence.

Few have traveled that dark path. Their minds are focused so intently on their pain and suffering that not for a moment do their thoughts wander to others. They never stop to think about what impact their action may have on others.

That's not true. No one cared. No one remembered. Everyone forgot, just a few days afterwards.

In the end, it is not only that one life alone which is changed eternally. It is the lives of all who ever touched that soul. When the act is committed, it is as if a page has been torn from the tomes of history, or if an unfinished paragraph appears on the page which would otherwise have chronicled the entire life of the unfortunate person. Some say, "A shame, to die so young." But others mutter, "Only a fool would take their own life."

One choice can change the entire flow of history. A selfish death alters a thousand fates. Yet, most fantasize about it at least once in their lives.

SUICIDE

Irrevokable and final, it is the ultimate expression of defeat. An ending to all the horrors of life.

There is no end to that dark path. It leads to nothingness. Only the truly desperate can follow it, as others can find their way back to the light.

Perhaps there is some comfort in that nothingness. A shame that only the dead know.

But I have found no comfort. I can't enter the nothingness. Something stops me. I tried once before. And now, the Dreaming won't take me. Because there are no dreams.

SUICIDE

Life brings pain. Death ends life. Death ends pain.

SUICIDE

I want death.

I seek death.

WHY CAN I NOT END THIS?

SUICIDE

I have already found death. I embraced death. I called it to me when I plunged that accursed sword into my body.

SUICIDE

I watched my blood spill on that floor. I never wanted to open my eyes again. My life was over.

SUICIDE

It was the first decision I ever made for myself.

SUICIDE

But something... something stopped me from succeeding. My only independent action during my entire life, and I failed because something stopped me.

No.

SOMEONE

Someone stopped me.

It could have all ended then, but someone interjected.

The dead haunt the living. The dead hunt the living. Jealous are they, since only in death do they realize how precious life is.

NO! What about me? Neither dead nor alive. Unable to end my existence.

On rare occasions, a previously deceased body can be reanimated. Either the strongest magical forces or else the irresistible powers of destiny can bring a soul back from the unknown blackness. Under the wrong circumstances, a monster can be accidentally created.

A monster. That's what I am.

But even monsters have dreams. Even the lowliest and most foul monster can die.

Some dream of death. Others dream of eternal life. None ever achieve their dreams while asleep. To act, one must be awake.

Oh, sweet eternity of shadows, why can I not reach you?

Truth is only found through open eyes.

But my eyes are open. And all I see is the night.

And the moon. A cursed crescent that slices through the perfect black of the sky.

I want that crescent.

With that crescent, I can slice through the chains that bind me to my misery.

First, I will find the accursed person who enslaved me to fulfill a destiny I no longer crave. The one responsible for what I have become.

Knowledge can hide behind a mask of eternal youth. Beware the false innocence of the kind.

Dark path, lead me to the one I seek.

Only the living can walk that dark path.

WE SHALL SEE

Run from me, mistress of destiny!