Persmerga Chapter 21 Viki Chapter 13
"Dark Night and Blinking Light"
(Muse Plains)


The dark, eternal stillness spilled across the valley, sheltering the world in its inky prison.  A dark shadow, immersed in his own twisted mind, gazed onward, consumed in the vision of the scene transpiring below the ridge on which he stood, his soul as hallow as the all encompassing pitch of night.

His icy eyes rested upon the makeshift campsite, absorbing this scene of comradery and unification.  He silently shifted his weight, gaining yet a more constructive view as he silently counted the moments before his presence would be known.  He smiled, a twisted, soft sneer that glittered with disdain.  *Soon* was the only phrase to echo through his mind.  That was all that needed to be said.


Pesmerga, the dark, almost supernatural being sat in his isolation, across from his companions who eagerly chatted away the evening.  Viki, the lost soul continually searching for a place to belong, sat opposite the stoic warrior, happily entertaining the young girl to her right.  Hope, the very symbol of the tragedy wrought by war and its unending cycle, found herself
without a home and family, and was accepted into the company of the dark warrior and the kind hearted Viki.  Each was a pawn of Fate's whim.

Hope giggled some more as Viki rambled on.  "Another thing Sir Pesmerga did during the Gate Rune war... it was the funniest thing.  At least, I'm pretty sure it was Sir Pesmerga who did it.  Anyway, Sir Pesmerga was on a mission to defeat the evil Tesla, but to do so he needed help from this lady named Kimberly.  So she decided to help him but only if he took her out to... um... kill Flik or something."

"What happened next?"  Hope happily asked, her eyes beaming.

"Hmm..."  Viki paused for a moment, reflecting back on the Gate Rune War, trying to remember what Sir Pesmerga actually did back then.  "No wait, that's not what happened.  She agreed to help him but only if he took her out to... um... buy Sir Flik some Lightning Bolt... um... boxer shorts. Yeah, that's it."

Pesmerga sat in his own solitary peace, staring blindly into the fire that burned and engulfed the timbers and dried foliage of the small campfire, seemingly ignoring Viki's tale of his life's exploits.  "Viki," he said simply, still staring into the flames, as if the fires held his own destiny, "I believe you are mistaken.  The events you described never happened."

Viki looked at the dark knight whom, until this moment, had remained silent in his visage.  "Huh?  What?  I'm pretty sure it happened that way.  Are you sure?"

Pesmerga sat, cradling his own thoughts.  The world itself had once made sense, but as of now, he no longer knew what to believe in, or how to grasp even the most fundamental ideologies of the world.  His life itself ceased the moment of his rebirth.  Thus, he was but a child, again learning of this life.  "No."  He answered solemnly, as if the word held the meaning of his entire being.  "No, I am not sure if that were true or not."

Viki was now concerned, looking at the confused man, her one time comrade, in his introspective self-doubt.  "Oh... okay, then we agree, it happened." Viki hesitantly but cheerfully responded, turning back to Hope who continued to laugh hysterically at Viki's tales.  It wasn't the story itself that made Hope so fond of the illustration, but the way that Viki told it that caused her to imagine in her mind what happened.

Hope beamed, her eyes beginning to close a little, the need for sleep finally beginning to catch up to her.  "Tell me another one, Mis' Viki."

"Huh?  Another?  Oh, um, okay.  Let's see..."  Viki pondered for a moment while continuing to hold Hope in her arms.  "Ah, there was another time when Sir Pesmerga wrestled Sir Humphrey because they were mad at each other for... like... not speaking to each other when spoken to or something.  So Humphrey like body slammed Sir Pesmerga before Sir Pesmerga finally decided to bash Humphrey against a table."

"Hee..."  Hope softly laughed, nestling her small form into Viki's arms.

"And um... that table had Mr. Jabba's Nameless thing... drat, I forgot the name of it, but anyway, it broke.  And Mr. Jabba got so mad that he beat up both Sir Pesmerga and Sir Humphrey.  A lot."  Viki looked at Hope and smiled.  "He was kind of silly, that way."

Though Hope never heard the end of Viki's story.  She had fallen asleep in Viki's arms. Only the sound of a slight, gleeful chuckle could be heard from the small child.

"Hmm..."  Viki brushed Hope's hair for a while before she turned to the dark knight sitting at the campfire.  "Miss Hope is a really nice girl, Sir Pesmerga."

Pesmerga did not answer, he simply continued his watchful gaze into the fire.

Viki waited for the reply that she didn't get before sighing.  She turned back to Hope and brushed the young child's hair a little more.  "Sir Pesmerga, you're taking good care of her, right?  Are you her father?"

Pesmerga raised his eyes, curiosity filtering through him.  He openly tensed at this affirmation, staring at Viki as if she materialized before his eyes. "No."  He answered, again following the response with a long, drawn moment of silence.  Finally, after many minutes of calm, Pesmerga continued.  "I found her near the town Ryube, her village, destroyed by Yuber.  I saved her rather than to confront him."

"Sir Yuber did that?"  Viki slowly stared at the sleeping child in her arms. "That's... so terrible.  W... why would he do that?"

Pesmerga's gaze shifted to the fire, and once again there was no reply.

Remembering for a brief moment the vision of murder that she saw at Tenzan Pass, Viki wondered how people could enjoy causing death.  She had seen soldiers fight and kill before, but they never seemed to take any pleasure in it.

Well, except maybe General Valeria.  And General Cammille.  And Sir Viktor.  And Giant Woman.  And that elf guy, Emerald.  And possibly that dwarf with a gun (Was he a dwarf?  It's been a while and Viki never did get a really good look at him thanks to that hood).  But even then it was only for self-defense and not slaughter.  They were most likely just happy because they were winning or something like that.

Yuber.  That was right, Viki remembered that Pesmerga always said he had some business to finish with him.  Business?  Sir Pesmerga and Sir Yuber never did seem like the merchant type to her.  "Sir Pesmerga, you said you saved Hope rather than confront Yuber.  I was wondering... Why do you want to see Sir Yuber again?"

Pesmerga did not answer; his own mind reaching to find understanding for the very concern Viki raised.  It had been easier, once.  Pesmerga knew, when his life was what he knew it to be, that Yuber was his salvation from his curse.  Yet, now, his understanding of his life was as empty as the encompassing shroud of darkness that surrounded these three.

But, as he understood his past did not hold the significance it should have held, the one constant plaguing the images of his mind was Yuber.  Thus, he was a prisoner now, never knowing what his life meant.  Yuber was the means in which he could free himself, and accept his life as who he was.  It was the one constant in his past he could believe true, and the one reality that would keep him from slipping into the abyss of insanity.  It was all he knew, and because of that, Yuber would die.

"Yuber is a curse."  Pesmerga said simply after his long pause.  "He brings nothing but chaos and destruction wherever he goes.  Toto and Ryube are the result of his madness.  My deliverance from my life will be his destruction.  That is why I seek him out."

And as the words fell from his lips, a strange understanding began to filter into his mind.  Nothing from his past was as it was, thus the world was but a symbol for what truly existed.  The rune on his hand, the "cursed" counter rune, was simply a symbol as well.  The true curse was Yuber, for he was the one to torment him in his dreams and slaughter the innocent for his own twisted amusement. Pesmerga was cursed, though not through any terrestrial means such as magic, but through his own life.  Yuber tormented him, though he may have never fought him.  He truly wasn't sure why he hunted Yuber, he only understood his quest would not end until Yuber lay broken over his sword.

"Oh...um...okay..."  Viki chimed in, bringing Pesmerga's mind to the present.  "That's a very interesting story, Sir Pesmerga, but um... I was wondering.  Why do you have to fight him?"

"Because, Yuber is an instrument of destruction.  War is all he knows and understands.  Force must be met with force."

"Hmm...yes, well, I guess I can see the point of that."  Viki said, turning her own attention to the stars and began counting them.  Though she often wondered why she could never get beyond one-hundred and eight.  "Well, I guess, what I want to know, is why don't you try talking to him.  I mean, you could... you know ... um... compromise... yes, that's the word.  Maybe you two could work out a compromise, then you wouldn't have to fight anymore.  Maybe just ask him to stop, and maybe he will."

Pesmerga drew his attention from the flames and looked at Viki with amused interest.  A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he mused over Viki's statement, as if the notion of peace was an absurd illusion.  "I seriously doubt Yuber will die if I simply ask him to."

"Well, you never know.  It could happen.  What's that saying?  You never try unless you know.  No wait, that's not it... Well, whatever it was, I guess... it's kind of insignificant."  Viki turned her head away from the stars towards Hope once again.  "What Sir Yuber did is already done, now. "

The young child was sleeping peacefully, despite the horror she must have gone through.  It was terrible for Hope to lose her entire home and family.  She must have been living happily one day, surrounded by loved ones and a supporting family, then the next day her entire home was gone forever, with no past to turn back to.

"Is her father gone then?"  Viki solemnly asked, thinking about her own dad.  "I... I think it's important for a young girl to grow up with a father to love her.  Otherwise, they might... they might end up like me.  I... thought that my father loved me.  I remember him loving me.  But... after seeing him again, it seems like what I remembered never even happened."

Some water formed at Viki's eyes before she wiped it away.  "Ah... nevermind; I'm sorry, I shouldn't bring it up.  It's just that when you mentioned about pasts not existing, it kinda reminded me of that.  Because… like, the past I thought existed really didn't.  Like my father…"

Pesmerga watched Viki with curiosity.  He could not understand the concern he felt for her.  It was simply that he could not hate her, and this surprised him, for all he had ever known, was hate.

"My past, my life, everything I had ever known was taken from me."  Pesmerga answered, drawing each word as if his voice held the answers to the mystery he had long since forgotten.  "I don't have anything in my life that holds meaning for me.   All that I know is that I am put on this earth to fight and destroy.  And yet, that does not even hold the meaning of my life.  I have nothing worth living for."

"Haha, that's funny."  Viki remarked, before sighing again.  "All I've been good for was just teleporting people around when they asked.  At least with fighting and destroying, you get to meet lots of new and interesting people... before fighting and destroying them."

Viki stared at Pesmerga a moment, blinking her eyes as the smoke of the fire passed over her face.  She looked down at Hope and a slight smile crossed her face.  "Well... anyway... you do have Hope... and..."  Viki hesitated for a moment as a revelation slowly came over her.  "And maybe... me..."

She wasn't sure about what to say.  Only that she had realized that, like Pesmerga, in the end her role in destiny was meaningless to her.  "Sir Pesmerga, I don't... I don't want to go back to that.  I could... I could go with you instead."  Viki slowly remarked, almost hopefully, yet shyly, as if she feared his response.

Pesmerga did not answer.  He turned his attention to the distant fields of Muse, studying the cooling night air.  Viki paused a moment, waiting for his conformation of her words, yet it had not come.  Biting her lip, Viki returned her attention to Hope, absentmindedly brushing the childs hair.  Though she noticed it was difficult to look at Hope, because her eyes had clouded up, not due to the smoke of the fire, but because of her uselessness again controlling her life.  Maybe all the people in her life were right, she was useless.  And who could ever care about anything that was useless.

"Perhaps,"  Pesmerga said simply, again never turning his attention to Viki or the sleeping child.  For who was he to involve them into his life.  The world hated monsters, and it was his life, his past, and his world that made him a monster.  He was not fit to have anyone care for him.  For whether the rune on his right hand was cursed or not, people always suffered around him, and this led him to believe that it was only his own fault that led to such suffering.

"Oh, yea, perhaps..."  Viki repeated, the doubt in her voice echoing the doubt she just heard.  "It was just a thought, since I figured that I didn't have much to do, and besides fighting and destroying poor Sir Yuber, you don't have much to do either.  And you don't even seem to like doing that, anyway.  But, ah, nevermind.  I guess it'd be kinda silly for me to travel with you for no reason.  I'd probably just get in the way."

Pesmerga didn't respond, for there wasn't anything to say.

The night was getting late, and Viki was getting tired.  The young mage decided to accept the fact that her place was to continue participating in destiny's meaningless cycles of war as a court teleporter, and didn't press the issue further.  "I guess it's goodnight, then.  I hope you sleep well.  Though, I really don't remember you sleeping very much back at Castle Toran.  Ah well.  Goodnight, Sir Pesmerga."  Viki, still holding onto Hope, lay down in the grass and closed her eyes.

Pesmerga sat in his frosty shell, his thick black armor weighing heavily against his skin.  He stared into the unforgiving flames of the campfire, his mind replaying the words Viki had asked, almost begged for his acceptance.  It was more confusing than he understood, for this child sleeping peacefully before him, wanted his companionship, and his friendship.  Both were foreign concepts for which he could not comprehend.  For no one ever wanted him around.  The firey-haired warrioress and her albino companion had accepted his offer of assistance until they gained their desire.  Then, as readily as they employed him into their party, they dismissed him.  Yet this child, Viki, did not seem to want anything from him except his friendship.  This could not be allowed.  He could understand, had she wanted him to kill someone or use him to fulfill her own purpose.  But not giving and seeking nothing in return...  The world does not work in such a blasphemous way.  And that is why he could not accept it.


"Mis' Viki..."

The young child tugged at Viki's short sleeve.

"Mis' Viki, please wake up."

Hope tugged harder, almost yanking Viki a bit.

"Mis' Viki, please wake up.  Or you'll miss it."

Hope tugged again, this time actually throwing Viki forward.  Viki got up and sleepily looked around with bloodshot eyes.

"Huh... Where am I?"  Viki stared wide-eyed at Hope, before blinking and fully waking up.  "Oh, that's right.  I'm here.  Don't know exactly where here is but it should be the same place as the here before I went to sleep last night, unless I got kidnapped in my sleep or something."

"Hurry or you'll miss it, Mis' Viki."  Hope stated more frantically than before, drawing Viki from her epiphical moment of realization.

"Huh?  Wha?  Miss it?  How could I miss it if I'm not really sure what it is?  Of course, maybe I already missed it and no one has told me I've missed it, but then again, if I don't know I've missed it, how would I know...?" Viki stated as Hope tugged on her arm as best as she could, though her little hands and undeveloped strength did little but cause Viki's arm to spring like a rubberband.

"No...you din't miss it yet, but hurry, please."  Hope again pleaded.

Viki looked around at the small camp site, and looked at the shadowy image of the stoic Pesmerga, standing in the shade of the trees, watching the scene transpire.

"Oh...um...okay."  Viki said, rising to her feet and following Hope, who still held Viki's arm in a death grip.  Hope hurried as fast as she could, trying her best to bring Viki to the designated spot.  The two stopped atop the ridge, overlooking the Eastern planes of the Muse Region.  Over the distant forests, the tiny glimmer of light appeared in the dark sky.  Then, streaks of orange and red began to blur onto the canvas, stabbing into the darkness of night announcing the coming of the new day.

Hope watched this as if it were her first sunrise, yet she had seen the sunrise everyday for as long as she remembered.  It was a miracle, to witness such color and experience the joy of what nature could truly do.  Though she was only five summers old, it was her ritual to greet every day.

"My daddy told me that I was named after a sunrise."  Hope smiled as she looked up at Viki.

"Huh?  Really?  I thought your name was Hope."

Hope giggled at hearing this.  Viki always made her laugh, though she had only known the kind-hearted sorceress for a short time.  "Well, my daddy told me that when you see the sunrise, you have hope that this day will be better than your last day.  So he named me Hope."  The young child smiled, her eyes sparkling in the glorious glow of the morning.

Seeing the truthful kindness in this yound child, Viki could not help but smile as well.  She turned her head to look at the dark warrior, yet he had remained in the shadows of the forest.  Upon seeing the sun peek above the horizon, Pesmerga turned his back on the coming day and walked further into the shadows of the wooded shelter.  Viki's smile faded as she watched this action by her companion, uncertain by what it meant, but turning again to see Hope's cheerful face brought her a soothing peace.  She believed what this girl had said was true.  Perhaps, this day would be better than the past days.  That would be all Viki would want.


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"Pesmerga", "Viki" and "Suikoden 2" are (C) Konami.
This chapter was posted on May 15, 2000