I wasn’t always this way, of course. I once cared, loved, and cherished everything and everyone important to me. But now, these thing only make me sick. Nothing good can come from these pathetic emotions. They only bring sadness, distrust, and hate, everything that is important to me now. Humans are pathetic if you ask me. They go about their day, hoping and praying that something good will happen to them. Something that could save them from their already troubled lives. And of course when nothing happens to save them, they fall into a hole of depression and take their own life, or bring other souls with them. Pathetic. It is like they are bounded on a string, useless, just hanging at the end, hoping to be pulled up. But to no avail their string is cut and they fall deep into the pit below. Humans are drones. All they need to be is controlled. I can control them. Now that I have the power. I used to be a pathetic human myself. But now there is no human left in me. I’m a monster now, something that will not be controlled, but will be the controller. And I like it that way.

My past is a bit clouded, but I remember the most important parts. I was once a farm boy, on the outskirts of the Toran Republic. Last I remember, I was 18 then. At that time, I was just learning about life. How to love, how to appreciate, how to hate. I lived there peacefully with my mother, father and sister. We lived away from the village, secluded ourselves from the world I once loved. Because of this, I never had any friends. Only my sister, but she was much younger that I, and she was always busy making dolls and their clothes to ever pay attention to me. To father and mother, I was a cheerful, outgoing youth. But deep inside my heart I was a wreck. I was alone inside. It was their fault! Never letting me go to the village so I can meet youths my age! They secluded me from the world, taking away everything that my youth stood for. Instead I had to work on the farm, doing their petty chores while my essence just faded away. I was empty.

Suddenly my whole world turned upside down, when I experienced, for the first time, death. One night I came from the fields after I picked the corn from the cornfield nearby, I noticed father lying on the ground, face down in the dirt. I remember quickly running up to him, asking if he was alright. Even thought I hated him for what he made of my life, I still loved him. Pathetic. Human emotions are pathetic. I lifted his head up and noticed a bite mark on his neck. I couldn’t figure out what had happened to him. I never saw this sort of thing before. I was an idiot. If my self then lived now, I would kill him.

I remember holding his hand, and it was still warm. His death must have been just recent, I thought. I quickly ran inside the house, and their laid mother on the bed, dead as well. I was in a nightmare, a nightmare that I create now. If I knew what kind of man I would be now then, I would have laughed at the situation. Suddenly I heard crying in the closet. I opened it and my little sister. She ran to me, squeezing me so tight that it took all my disputes against my family away, and I cried for the first time. I was a pathetic baby. She told me that a man with fangs drank my parents blood from their necks. Then it hit me, I remembered father talking about a creature of the night that drinks blood from its victims. His name was Grevian, and he lived up in the mountains nearby. He was just a myth though. No one had ever seen him before. Pathetic. Living in the mountains. A pathetic excuse to a vampire. I then decided that I was gong to avenge their deaths by killing Grevian. Pathetic. Humans know that they cannot live forever. But when the time comes, they act as if they never knew it would happen, and hold on to something that is already gone. Pathetic indeed.

Boy was I stupid and weak then. Killing to cure the hatred in the heart. That is almost a monster emotion, isn’t it? As dumb as humans are, they are, in some aspects similar to us. The fear and hatred in their hearts can make them do terrible things that they will regret. In my case, this didn’t happen.

I knew that a vampire is stronger than a human. This is so true. So I decided that I would need to find a way to become stronger. Not physical, but magical. A lot of talk of a clan of vampires rose over time in our area. It was said that they had a rune which would grant one with tremendous power. Over time, a story can be warped and changed and no one would even know. I never thought about this. After leaving my sister at home, hoping that she would be alright, I decided to carry out my duties. In order to get information about this clan, I went to the village for the first time. Surprisingly, I overheard a couple of men telling about the superstition of where the clan’s hideout really was. I brought it on myself that I could check to see if the rumors were true. What a perfect way in defeating a vampire, getting help from a clan of vampires to kill him. I thought it as a great idea, but now I know that I was stupid and naive. I never understood the concept of vampirism, I thought there was nothing to it. A pathetic moron I was then. The whole concept is so in-depth that no human can even come remotely close to understanding it. Their pathetic minds could not handle the information.

I traveled to the clan’s hideout, and with no avail I was immediately captured by the watchmen. I was for sure going to die, I thought. But little did I know that that very night would have been my resurrection. The night where I died as a human, but was born into a monster. And if I had a choice to do it all over again. I most certainly would. The covered my eyes and took me to an unknown and dropped me on the ground. Silence became over me. Death was on my side, I only hoped that I would die a painless death. Pathetic. Humans cannot deal with pain. Pain is part of living! It is in the blood!

Suddenly the silence broke, and a woman spoke.

"Why do you seek the Village of Vampires?"

" I want to speak to the leader of the village in regards to killing Grevian."

" Killing Grevian? I am the leader here, why do you seek the same kind as your enemy?"

" I alone cannot kill him. He is a vampire. He is much stronger than I." Stronger than any human vampires are.

" You look like you have potential. Take off the blindfold."

A blinding flash of white filled my eyes as the darkness settled. There stood in front of me a beautiful woman. She wore all white, and had bright silver hair. She was so beautiful that night. If only I knew that she was a pathetic maggot. A gullible pathetic maggot. Heh heh.

Soon after I met her, I instantly fell in love with her. At the time, her beauty as so great that I couldn’t think clearly when I spoke.

" What is your name young man?" she asked me.

" My name is Renillard Variev my lady."

" Renillard huh?"

" Yes my lady."

" So why do you seek our help? Why do you want to kill Grevian?"

" He killed my parents. I want to avenge their deaths." Pathetic.

" And how do you think we can help you?"

" I don’t know."

"Hmmmm….."

That night, I knew that she was beginning to have feelings for me. I just knew it for some reason. I was having feelings for her as well. She was so beautiful, I couldn’t resist. Who knew that love could turn to betrayal. Later that night I was shown the village. It was pathetic to see vampires who were not evil. Of course at the time, I found it amazing. They all had lived for many years, and will continue to for eternity. That is the vampires curse. In my case, a blessing. An eternity of killing. Sounds like my kind of heaven.

The woman turned to me and asked me the question that would change my life forever.

" If you were granted power and eternal life, would you chose to accept it, and its consequences?"

I paused. I knew what she meant. Becoming a vampire myself. I never thought that this would be an option for me. Killing a vampire by a vampire. I would have enough strength to do it myself, I thought. After several minutes of thinking it over, my heart suddenly started to beat faster and faster, until the point were I was in another state. My head nodded. I couldn’t control my movements. It was like my fear and hatred took over my body. I knew that things would turn out wrong. The subtle nod was the key to my resurrection.

" Then come with me."

We walked up a mountain path behind the village during the night and stood at a clearing on the top. Men in black cloaks surrounded the two of us by means of a circle. I never saw their faces, and that made me uneasy. Darkness surrounded us. The only light came from the few torches that were lit, and the brightness of the woman’s robe. Silence surrounded us. Fear poured out of my soul, and she knew it. I was a chicken. I wouldn’t have been if I knew what I would have become.

The ritual began.

"You seek death." She began to spoke with calm and eeriness.

Y-yes." I said, trying not to show her that I was afraid. I was pathetic.

"Why?"

"Because I want to live. I want to be awakened." Revenge is what I wanted.

"Do you fear the night?"

I did, but I couldn’t not show it. I was a weak pathetic human.

" I fear nothing." Revenge.

"You should not. Without the moonlight to guide us we have only the nothingness of night." She scowled. Suddenly her voice grew wit subdued anger.

" I see the moonlight, Lady, and I embrace it. I have no fear." I was afraid that I had made her angry. But I knew that the procedure was still going to happen.

"Acceptable," she said as he voice became calm again. "Whom do you serve, boy?"

I didn’t know what to say. Then the words came right out of my mouth without even thinking. I was being controlled again.

Why, eternity milady. Eternity and of course yourself." I never knew where those words came from. But now I know. It was a passion to kill, hidden deep down in my heart, feasting on my emptiness and hatred.

With a subtle gesture, the woman pulled out a dagger and it shone in the moonlight. This was my time to become a new being. A powerful being.

"Then I bear witness to your ascension."

I walked up to her, and for some reason I had anticipation running through my veins. I couldn’t wait to be changed. I quickly took the silver knife and plunged it into my heart. To my surprise, I felt no pain at all. Like my heart was filled with too much hate that I didn’t feel anything. That was when everything human about me left, and evil replaced it. I fell to the ground, and a blinding flash of light surrounded us. I looked up and saw the woman’s right hand glow with a supernatural light. The moon light up and a shaft of light shot down from it and surrounded the two of us. The rune on her hand was apparent now as it glowed above her head. It looked like the shape of the moon itself. A half crescent moon. This was her true power source. And as my body suddenly began to change to the undead, I stared at that rune with awe. Something deep down inside my heart wanted that rune. It had to have it. And it would do anything to get it.

"Renillard Variev, I grant you eternity." Those words echoed through my mind all might as I laid there, back in the village, in my new room. I wasn’t human anymore. And it felt great.

Over time, the woman taught me the basics of being a vampire. How to hunt, how to sleep, how to survive on rodents if necessary. It was quite repulsive if you ask me. Their rule was that you could only kill for food. This rule stuck in my head for such a long time. Only kill for food? Somehow I knew that this was a rule just waiting to be broken, by me.

As time passed we both began to love each other. She was so beautiful to me, and I never understood why she even cared for me. I know now. She was a pathetic excuse for a vampire. She was lonely deep down inside, like me, but never wanted to do something about it. She just sat there, waiting to be loved. She was empty. But unlike me, she could never overcome it. This made her weak, and gullible.

While I was sleeping next to her one night, an emotion came over my body that I never known before. Suddenly, I had a craving for that rune. I disregarded it at first, but it grew so much that I could keep still. What was happening to me? I’ll tell you. I was becoming independent. The rune was calling to me. It didn’t want that woman as its owner. It wanted me!! It wanted someone destined to be great. And that was of course me. I had to find a way to get it from her, but the only way to steal it was to get her to give it to me. Finally, after days of thinking, I found a way.

The whole concept of killing Grevian for the death of my parents was nonexistent now. I forgot. The power of that rune disrupted my judgment. I couldn’t think straight. The fear and hatred in my body took control over me and I couldn’t break free. It surrounded me, devoured me. And I didn’t ant to break free from it. I somehow, enjoyed it all.

One night we both were talking in her room, when I decided to carry out my plan. I knew that she would let me have the rune, but if I got her hyped up in the moment, I could ask he to let me try it out. I was confident in my charms. When you become a vampire, you can have your way with women. An extra karat to the already gold mine. I kissed her so passionately that she, and almost me, lost reality. I didn’t love her anymore. The mission to steal the rune was too great for me. So, while she was in the moment, a sort of trance if you will, I asked her if I could try the rune on, see what it would feel like to have immense power in the palm of your hand. Without even thinking, she said yes, and she called to it and it was bounded to my hand. My smile turned to a giant grin as I look at the rune with amazement. It was mine now. Disrupting the passionate killing I quickly threw her on the bed and laughed. She was surprised at what she had done. I don’t think she even remembers the actual passing of the rune. I guess my charms where that powerful. Heh heh.

She swore that she will take the rune away from me, but I laughed at her face. Finally the rune was mine! Power flowing through my veins! I had it all! The hatred in my body took over fully now, I was not the man I thought I would become. I was suppose to avenge my parents death, instead I am contributing to the cause. I don’t care about that. I want to. I need to. I love it!

I went to the village center and screamed my name to all those who would fear me.

" My name is not Renillard no more. He has died with my innocence! Now the world shall heed me to another name. The last word you will here when you die. My name is now Neclord!"

I destroyed the village that night, and with some unexpecting knowledge given by the rune, I reanimated the villagers bodies as my slaves. A zombie nation. It was all mine for the controlling! I was unstoppable now! The woman fell to the ground as she saw what she had made. Her village, gone. Her friends, dead, now zombies. Pathetic woman. She knew it was coming. If there wasn’t a speck of respect in my body I would have killed her too. But I didn’t. I don’t know why. Maybe I just wanted to see her face as she watched everything that she created die and become mine. All mine.

That was 400 years ago. Now, I am doing the same as I had done before. I never killed Grevian, never avenged my parents death, never came back for my sister. I didn’t care. I have the power now. I have everything that I have always wanted. After countless bodies feed upon, countless wives I had killed, countless zombie I have made, I have never once regret anything that I have done. I have never gotten sick of doing it. I have never not enjoyed it all. I am a monster. I love what I do, and no one can change that. Fear is what I do, and is what I do best. And I will never quit, for me nor for anyone.

Return to Neclord's chapters Return to the chapter archive Return to the Suikoden 2 RPG main page
"Neclord" and "Suikoden 2" are (C) Konami. This chapter was posted before June 19, 2000