Young Master McDohl was fighting a losing battle to stay awake.  He had crawled and crawled his way to Radat, fighting off every monster that came by to keep from being mugged.  It drained what little energy he had and was wearing down on his sanity.

   Inch by inch he moved, the large port town in his sights.  He grinned crookedly and finally struggled to his feet, confident that his journey was soon going to be at an end.

   Walking slowly, McDohl passed the first rows of houses and breathed in the humid air of the lakeside village.  Smiling, he walked a little faster, headed towards the large house of the trader; Shu.

   THWACK!!

   The door to the nearby bar and grill swung open, smacking Young Master McDohl in the face and on his back.  The drunken patrons poured out and down the road, singing a little seafarer's melody.

   For McDohl, the world drifted away in a swirl that he was coming to expect.

   "CUT!!  Okay, that's beautiful people!  Print it and that's it for today."

   The director's voice sounded out the end of the day's session and people started milling about the sound stage without fear of interrupting the scene.

   Michael Florian blinked a little from where he lay and sat up slowly, surpressing a yawn.  They had been shooting for 18 hours straight today and it was late.  Yanking on the bandanna, he pulled it free and tried to flatten his static hair to his head.

   The Suikoden 2 Television Series was filmed in a movie-style fashion, with a huge budget, making it the most popular television series in history.  Advertisers paid akin to Super Bowl amounts to run their commercials during the show, which ran once-a-week, and for a two hour block during Saturday Evenings.

   With over 108 actors, a dozen directors and camera crews, each episode looked like it was fresh out of the theaters.  It was easy to maintain that quality, since they jumped back and forth with about three or four main characters an epsiode, giving the others plenty of time to create their special effect and editing.

   Michael wandered off the set and stretched.  His segments were getting longer and longer, due to the popularity of the Young Master McDohl character.  It had been the same during the orignal Suikoden Television Series, but for some reason, McDohl was
more popular brought back for the second.

   Michael was lucky, though.  He could have been stuck in much more difficult roles.

   Like how they had to peel Kiba out of his genuine steel armor with the Jaws of Life on a daily basis, since the producers insisted on accuracy.  Or the four hours of make-up that Sierra and Neclord had to go through each morning.  Not to mention constantly being swung around on cables like Chako, to simulate flight.

   And while it was just rumor, Michael was pretty sure the midget that was in the Gadget costume was dead and they were controlling it by remote control, since they couldn't get the corpse out of the barrel.

   "Hey, Michael!"

   Michael looked over his shoulder and stopped walking long enough for Paolo Chikiamco-Recio, the actor who plays Futch, to catch up with him.  The latest Futch installment had just ended around the same time.

   "Hey, Paolo.  What's up?"

   "Ah, nothing much.  They have me running around with Miklotov in our newest installments, to save time and money.  He's a great guy . . . but a little TOO into his character, if you know what I mean."

   "Yeah, sounds like poor Leknaat from the first TV series.  Remember her?  The doctors say the stitches can come out in a few weeks."

   "Speaking of stitches, look at you!  I dunno, Michael, but you've got the most sadistic writers of the whole show.  The rest of the cast and I have a pool on when you'll finally buy the farm in a fatal stunt."

   Michael would have snapped at Paolo, but one look at his McDohl uniform would confirm it.  There were burn marks and gashes along the arms and all sorts of battle injuries that WEREN'T there when he got out of make-up this morning.

   They walked along the huge lot to their trailers, where they both changed clothes and finally carpooled home.  They went together because the studio had a huge apartment complex that they owned and put their actors in.  It was a fourteen-story high hotel building; appropriate since they had over 150 actors to house, not to mention writers, camera crew, and supporting cast.  Michael and Paolo were neighbors on the tenth floor.

   Paolo walked into his apartment that he shared with his long-standing girlfriend, Kristin Avanzini, and collapsed on the couch.  He just lay there for a few minutes, unmoving, while Kristin was rummaging through a huge pile of mail.

   "Aren't you going to ask how my day was?" Paolo muttered loudly, finally catching Kristin's attention.
 

   Paolo had been dating Kristin for about two years now and has been trying to break up with her for just as long.  The only reason they're still together is due to a couple of factors like she's oblivious to him when he starts talking, he's a weenie when it comes to dating, and, all things considered, no one else would go out with either of them.

   "Oh!  Paolo, I didn't know you were home.  How was your day?" she replied, not even looking over at him.

   "Horrible," he grumbled.  "Miklotov didn't watch where he was swinging that damn sword of his again and nearly cut off my . . "

   "Not now, honey." Kristin said, cutting Paolo off.  "I've got something that might cheer you up.  The mail is here!"

   And with that, Paolo leapt off the couch and over to the kitchen table with a silly grin on his face, rummaging through the pile with Kristin.  Another one of Kristin's . . . hobbies was that she randomly stole mail from two other cast members in the apartment building a day and she brought them home to look through.

   She'd just go bannanas and subscribe them to magazines she'd like to have, switch their long distance carriers, and the actress who plays Tengaar is still wondering why she has a dozen credit cards from the same company.

   But Paolo was no discouraging figure.  Hell, he'd rummage along with her, just write it off to boyish curiousity, and the fact that if they were ever caught, she'd get a jail sentence and he'd just get a fine with community service.

   Today, she had stolen Michael's mail.  In addition to bills and catalogs for Michael's fiancé, there was a letter from another studio addressed to Michael.  Kristin opened it up.

   "Hey, check this out.  It's a letter inviting Michael and his girlfriend on one of those game shows for couples."

   Before Paolo could respond, however, the front door to the apartment burst open and Michael's girlfriend, Aleana Nichols, stumbled in, carrying several loads of laundry.  She dropped them on the couch and wiped sweat off her brow.

   "Sorry I was so late with your laundry, Kristin.  But Paolo's underwear was especially tricky today."  She said that while glaring at Paolo.

   "You know, when you two told me your washer and dryer broke down and I offered to help with the laundry, I thought you guys would be getting new ones.  It's been a month.  When are you getting them?!"

   "Soon," was the only reply Kristin would give.  Of course, that didn't sit well with Aleana, who's been told "soon" for a month.

   "Why don't you just go to a laundromat?"
 
   "A laundromat?" Kristin repeated slowly, as if not understanding the word.  "I wouldn't be caught dead in a place like that."

   "Yet she can get caught dead in Macy's and every jewelry outlet in the greater Los Angeles area," Paolo said, drolly.

   Before Kristin could make a snide remark back at him, Michael came stomping through the open apartment door.  He was rather pissed, dressed in a bright yellow t-shirt, with polka dot suspenders, and checkered pants.

   "So here you are!" he said, glaring at Aleana.

   "Before I go to another late night meeting at the studio and risk my job wearing these clothes, might I ask when you're going to do some of my laundry?  Last night I had to go in that leisure suit I inherited from my dad.  Tommorrow I'll have to go as naked as
the day I was born, and I think the producers are going to stop thinking it's cute when that happens."

   "Oh, don't complain, Michael." Aleana tried to calm him down.  "They don't have a washer or dryer still and we're helping them out."

   "Why don't you mud people go to the laundromat?!" Michael growled.  He sighed then and reached into his pocket.

   "You know, Aleana, I was going to make this a surprise, but if I do manage to get the raise I'm asking for, I was going to give you these."

   Aleana walked over and Michael pulled out two round tickets to Hawaii for a couple weeks in spring.  She looked at the tickets and sighed happily.  After that, she looked over and glanced at Paolo and Kristin for a moment, before looking back at Michael.

   "To hell with them!" she shouted.  They both left the apartment and shut the door behind them.

   "You know, there are points at which Michael really annoys me," Paolo grumbled.  "I have half a mind not to tell him about this game show thing."

   "Uh . . . you know they give away prizes on those game shows." Kristin said, wide-eyed, on the horns of an idea, and trying to hint it to Paolo.  "Imagine what we could win if we were on it."

   "Better yet, I should burn this!  That'll show him."

   Paolo wasn't really getting the message, so Kristin took a piece of fruit and threw it at his head.  He didn't even flinch a bit, but sat there without blinking for a moment.

   "Hey, we could go on this game show instead of them!" he finally said.

   "Oh yeah," Kristin said, dryly.  "That's MUCH better than what I had in mind."

   A couple days later, at the studio across town, the filming of a popular game show started.  The stage lights went on and the studio audience applauded and cheered as the host came out.

   "Hi!  And welcome to 'How do I love thee?', where we ask our contestants . . . . 'How do I love thee?'."

   The audience clapped just the same at the host's bad joke.  He was a typical game show host, attractive and charismatic enough to be on prime time television, but not enough to actually make it on a sitcom or soap opera.

   "In case any of you aren't too familiar with 80's popular culture, I'm your host, Bink Finklesteen!  And over here is the bit of fluff that the studio forces me to work with; the lovely Miss Zelda."

   The audience barely made any effort to clap for Bink, but they went wild as the gorgeous airhead in the one-piece bikini walked out from backstage.

   "I'm ready, Bink." she said to the audience, grinning like a moron.

   "Isn't she great folks?" Bink said, sarcastically, and shuffled through his papers.

   "Okay, it's time to meet our contestants.  He's a book keeper.  She's a elementary school teacher.  They've been together for about a year; let's meet Alan Kazlev and Natalie Winters."

   Two young adults came out from backstage with name tags on and walked over to their booth, where they proceeded to give each other a tonsilectomy in front of the audience.  Bink, who's been desensitized to that after so many shows, continues with his cards.

   "And introducing our second couple.  He's an actor.  She rents tuxedos in Sears.  They've been together for six months; let's meet Michael Florian and Aleana Nichols."

   Kristin walks out from backstage with "Aleana" on her nametag, waving and smiling at the audience.  Paolo walks out with "Michael" on his nametag, a little blinded by the stage lights.  Something catching his eye, he walked over to the lovely Zelda
and stares, drooling.

   "I love you . . ." he said, before Kristin grabbed the back of Paolo's shirt and drags him over to their stand.

   "Okay, couples, it's time to play our game.  Lovely Zelda, would you please bring out our first prize?"

   Zelda came from backstage holding a bowling ball.  It was one of those high quality balls that only a bowler could really appreciate.  She showed it to the audience and continued to grin.

   "It's a bowling ball, Bink." she said absentmindedly.

   " . . . . . . . . . . yeah." Bink shook his head and turned back to the couples.  "Okay ladies; please follow the lovely Zelda backstage."

   After the ladies were gone, Bink turned to the guys and smiled sardonically.

   "Okay, boyfriends, let's EARN those balls!"

   And with that, the curtain was pulled away to reveal the lovely Zelda posing next to two large wheels attached to stands, with Kristin and Natalie strapped to them.  They both looked nervous as Bink led the guys over and explained the rules.

   "Okay fellas, the rules are simple.  Whoever can spin their girl the most wins the bowling ball."

   "Uh . . . 'Michael'?" Kristin nervously smiled at him.  "You already have a bowling ball, remember?"

   But Paolo was already beyond Kristin's words.  Alan was allowed to go first, but he appeared to be having
some trouble.  It appears the sap didn't want to spin Natalie.

   "Go on, Alan." Natale said, encouragingly.  "You work hard and you deserve that bowling ball."

   Alan still wasn't very confident and started to spin the wheel.  The game show's theme music played a little and stopped as the wheel stopped . . . 1/4 of a single spin.

   "I won't spin her any further!" he declared.

   "Okay, Michael," Bink said, turning to Paolo.  "Your turn."

   Kristin started to sweat profusely at the evil grin on Paolo's face and struggled with the clamps.  Paolo reached up to grip the wheel.

   "Uh . . sweetie . . you only have to beat 1/4th of a spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!"

   Paolo had spun the wheel with all his might.  Kristin started to spin so fast that she was appearing as a blur on the wheel, screaming her head off.  The theme music played long and loud with her spinning.  In fact, she spun so long that they had to go to a commercial break.

   After the break was over, Bink was making small talk with both Paolo and the other couple.  Kristin finally emerged from backstage, walking in circles and barely managing not to fall over.  After some stumbling, she made her way back to her stand and
started to choke Paolo with her bare hands.

   Much to Paolo's luck, though, the lovely Zelda led both him and Alan backstage.  Bink turned to the ladies and shifted his cue cards a bit.

   "Okay ladies, while the lovely Zelda leads the men backstage, let's see what fabulous prize you can win in this round!"

   A curtain nearby opened, revealing a stunning rolex watch encrusted with precious gems.  Both Natalie and Kristin practically had to wipe their mouths after getting a good look at it.

   "Are you two ladies ready to win that watch?"

   "I'm ready!" Kristin growled.  "Strap 'em to the wheel, Bink!"

   "Whoa whoa, Aleana.  You'll get your chance.  Now then, let's see what you'll have to do in this round."
 

   Bink directed both Natalie and Kristin over to the opening curtain to reveal two king-sized beds onto of large truck scales.  Inbetween the two matresses of each bed were Alan and Paolo.  Standing next to the two beds were Zelda and about eight incredibly fat people.

   "The rules for this round are simple.  Whoever can put the most weight on their boyfriend wins the watch.  Natalie, would you start us off?"

   Natalie nervously wandered around the large bed, looking at all the people standing there, waiting to be picked.  She bit her lower lip a little and trembled, before she just burst.

   "I can't do it!  They . . . they . . . they're all so big!"

   With Natalie defused, Bink turned over to Kristin.

   "Miss Nichols?  How about you?"

   Kristin, giggling like a schoolgirl, started gesturing to the people around the bed Paolo was sandwiched in onto the bed.  Paolo screamed loudly as the weight on the scale just shot up.

   "That's one ton!" Bink announced.

   Kristin was far from finished as she coaxed even more of the people onto the bed.  Paolo's face was turning pale as the numbers just kept rising.

   "That's two tons!"

   Kristin went over to Alan's bed and started tugging on the sleeves of the people standing next to it.  Confused, they all piled onto the bed Paolo was in.  He was starting to run out of breath and he whimpered.

   "That's three tons!"

   Kristin was just giggling insanely as she ran out of people.  Paolo was gasping for air and he looked like he was in considerable amounts of pain.  Kristin just hopped around Bink, happy as a clam.

   "You're quite a player, Miss Nichols!  Want to go for the record?" Bink offered.

   "Yeah!!" Kristin cheered.  Bink gestured to just offstage.

   "Here . . . comes . . . Bertha!"

   There was a deep and solid thumping coming from backstage that could have rivaled the T-Rex scene on Jurrasic Park.  Paolo tilted his head back and his eyes grew wide, jaw dropped, in a silent scream as a massive shadow fell over him.

   "And now we come to the part of the show I hate the most . . . when we have to say goodbye to one of our couples.  Alan . . . Natalie . . . you've both been great contestants.  Thank you for coming."

   Natalie and Alan, who had a score of zero on their stand, embraced each other deeply and looked into each other's eyes.

   "I'm sorry we didn't win." Alan said.

   "It's alright," Natalie said back.  "I'm just glad you weren't hurt."  Natalie then turned around to Kristin and looked rather amazed.

   "You are a GOOD player."

   Kristin smiled and waved at them as they left.  She twirled back to Bink, looking more alive now than she had in years.

   "Okay, Aleana, you've won the bowling ball, the watch, the Washer/Dryer, plus Michael's record-setting stay in the Killer Bee booth.  Let's see if he's conscious yet."

   The lovely Zelda was leading Paolo from backstage to his stand.  The top of his head and his hands were totally wrapped in gauze and he appeared rather woozy.

   "I've lost all feeling in my face, Bink . . ."

   "That's great, Michael.  We've reached the part of our show where we get to know a bit about you.  You're an actor, right?  What's that like?"

   "How the hell would I know?!" Paolo cried, still suffering from the Bee venom.  Kristin just shook her head at Bink, who decided to move on to the next segment.

   "Okay, Aleana, now you can either walk away with all you've won . . . or you can risk everything, put your boyfriend back into our torture chamber, and go for our grand prize!"

   At the mention of that, Paolo recoiled in panic and Kristin practically hopped around in joy again.

   "What is it?!  What is it?!"

   "A . . . Brand New . . . Car!!!"

   Kristin screamed at the top of her lungs as the curtains parted to reveal a brand-new red Mustang Convertible.  She hopped up and down, grabbing Bink's hands.  She continued to hop and turned to grab Paolo's, but he screamed in pain and jerked them away.

   She just flew off the stand and raced over to the car, circling it and screaming.  Paolo glared at Bink.

   "Why not just give her a rifle and have her shoot me?" Paolo asked sardonically.

   "Heh heh . . . too easy, Michael.  Well, what decision do you think Aleana will make?"

   Both of them turned to watch Kristin hop into the driver's seat of the car, still screaming, nuzzling the steering wheel and running her hands over the dashboard.  Paolo had this incredulous look on his face as he turned back to Bink.

   "GEE, I DON'T KNOW, BINK." he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

   Kristin had finished with her excitement and had wandered back to stand behind Paolo, who was smiling as if in resignation of his fate.

   "What's it going to be, Bink?  A live hand grenade down the shorts?  A pit of cobras?  Come on, Bink, don't keep me in suspense!  The girlfriend needs a new car!"

   But Bink had already turned back to the studio audience, shuffling his cards.

   "In this part of our show, we picked a couple from our studio audience who've been together a long time and gave the best answers on our questionaire 'What I hate about my mate'."

   Bink then gestured and the stand the previous couple was in lit up as he read off the cue cards.

   "Let's introduce our competing couple!  He's a mail theif.  She's a waste of a human life.  They've been together longer than the Rolling Stones; let's meet Paolo Chikiamco-Recio and Kristin Avanzini!"

   Paolo and Kristin grew wide-eyed and pale as they turned to watch the backstage curtain part to let Michael and Aleana onstage.  Michael was pretty angry and Aleana seemed nervous to be onstage.  They both wore nametags with "Paolo" and "Kristin" on it.  They got behind the stand and Michael growled at Paolo.

   "So . . . you steal our mail AND our names, huh?"

   "Heh heh . . . " Paolo grinned nervously, sweating hard, "How did you find out?"

   "Janelle sold you out for a free meal."

   Out in the studio audience, Janelle, the actress who plays Meg in the Suikoden 2 Television Series, perked her head up from the Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket and looked around.  When no one spoke to her, she shrugged and went back to work on a drumstick.

   And now Bink was ready to announce the last contest.

   "Gentlemen . . . to your electric chairs!"

   The curtain on the other side of the stage to reveal two electric chairs, attached to meters that read from zero to 120.

   The theme music to the game show started again as Paolo calmly walked around from his stand, down the stage, over to the electric chair, and sat down.

   "I welcome death."

   Michael was about ready to walk on over when Aleana grabbed his arm and tried to tug him back.  She had this worried look on her face.

   "M-Michael!  I didn't know they were going to have electric chairs!!"

   Michael turned back to Aleana with a fiercely determined look on his face.

   "Juice me 'till I'm ash!  They're not getting that car!!"

   With that, Michael walked on over to the other electric chair and sat down, fastening the helmet to his own head, looking over at Paolo.

   "See you on the other side, 'Florian'."

   Bink and the two woman walked on over as the attendants were finishing up putting the straps on the two men and left the stage.  There was a dial attached to each of the chairs that could be used by the ladies.

   "Okay, to win the car, you have to pump the most jolts into your guy.  But, remember ladies, eeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaase it up slowly . . . or you'll kill them."

   With that, Bink backed away and Aleana and Kristin picked up the dials.  Aleana growled.

   "That car is ours!"  She twisted the knob and the meter rose to thirty, making Michael's whole body jump in the chair and he shouted a little.

   "MMMMMMMMmmmmmore!!!"

   In response to that, Kristin turned to her knob and twisted it, sending the meter shooting up to thirty-five, making Paolo scream in pain, his whole body shaking from the electricity.

   "LLLLLLLLllllllessssss!!!"

   "I see thirty-five . . . do I hear fourty?" Bink asked, encouraging the two.

   "Michael!  I don't know if I can go any higher . . . " Aleana was really upset and didn't want to fry her fiancé.  Michael turned to her, his resolve not broken.

   "A woman's place is in the home!" he shouted at her, and paid for it by the dial being sent up to eighty.  His whole body jumped and smoked from the electricty and he lost the ability to think straight.

   "Whoa!!" Bink said.  "Look at him twitch!"

   Kristin turned to Paolo, who was looking at her with an unmistakable plea for mercy.  She grinned a little at him.

   "Aww . . come on, honey.  It's for a new car!"

   And with that, she buried the needle on the meter past the 120 mark.  Paolo's body shook so hard that it became a blur, and he screamed the scream of the damned.

   Later that night, back the apartment complex, Kristin, Aleana, and Janelle walked in.  They were smiling at each other; their hair a little frizzed from riding with the top down.

   "You know, it really is a beautiful car." Aleana conceeded.

   "Yeah, I can't wait 'till I get to drive it." Janelle added in.

   The three of them stopped talking as Paolo and Michael entered the apartment.  Both men didn't seem to be blinking anymore and their hair was standing on end.

   Paolo walked forth with his glassy-eyed stare and stopped with a jerk as a lamp he came to turned on by itself.  He just stared at it and Michael walked past him, stopping the same way and staring at the dishwasher that started by itself.  The two of them
then sat down on the couch, upon which the television suddenly came on.  They just stared at it, still not blinking.

   "How long do you think they'll be like this?" Aleana asked.

   "I don't know," Kristin replied.  "Better not give them any water for awhile, though."

   "Come on!  Let's go ride some more in the new car," Janelle smiled.

   The three of them left the apartment, with Paolo and Michael still sitting in front of the television.  The two of them raised their arms and clapped simultaneously; all of the lights and appliances suddenly turning off.  And they continued to sit there, unblinking, unmoving, with no lights except the glow they gave off.

   "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

   Young Master McDohl shot up from his bed.  He sat there, panting and sweating, his eyes wide open.  Looking around, he noticed he was in a room in the Radat inn; Fora.

   Scratching his head, he thought a little about the dream.