Madeleine Rousseau, reflecting on the matter over a mug of much recommended herbal tea, was in full agreeance with that opinion.

People said that she was overly emotional.  Maddy preferred to think of herself as possessing a healthy passion for life and a strong backbone.  Whatever the case, she liked to feel the emotion sweep her away – the thrill of the hunt, she supposed.  Yet with love…  with love it was different.  Love was a pain in the ass.

A girl could just be in a simple conversation with her superior, minding her own business like a good little assistant, when the enemy hit.  It could hide even in the frickin’ sunbeams the crept through the thick panes of the city hall.  It could leap out at you, pistol-whip you with physical attraction, and leave you to rot on the cobblestones having robbed you of all your wits.  Dazed and stumbling, with no choice but to moan, clutch your aching heart, you realized it.  The mad infatuation with a person you would have been quite content to mercilessly mock, that is.  Then, the bastard would proceed with an insane victory dance on your heart as you struggled to end a perfectly routine conversation about office supplies.

Office supplies.  Of all the goddamn pathetic things to fall in love to.  Love?  Aw hell..... fall in lust was more like it.

This sort of thing - random and unprecedented attraction, that is - had gotten her into trouble before.  Why was she always attracted to the ones that she couldn’t have, ones that she didn’t even like intellectually?  Did her hormones want her dead or something?   Struggle and inevitable capitulation to a pair of fine dark (and married) eyes was all very well and good in ten-potch paperbacks.  In Rockaxe, however,  it earned you an angry mob or half-drunken closed-minded bastard armorers.   Maddy's particular… ‘affection’ just wouldn’t do in the staunchly traditional Mathilda knightdom.

It really wasn’t that bad, being forced to move to Muse.  Of course, she would have to tear out their legal entrails one day for confiscating all of her savings, but Maddy felt that she was much healthier leaving that whole business in the past.

The soothing vapors of chamomile and mint failed to stop her from unconsciously crushing her teacup.

Okay, she would be damn healthier if she left that whole buisness in the past.

Sighing, rising, and instantly forgetting about the sodden mess she had produced, Maddy came to an uncharacteristically sensible resolution.  She would go to work, work up a good rage, and forget how goddamn sexy her superior was when you got to know the infuriating creature.  This job was important, and tenuous at the best of times.   It was true that she knew what he was up to, and kept it secret in exchange for her own position.....

 But Madeleine didn’t think that Jess, Lord of Rat Bastards, would tolerate her putting the moves on that damn sexy pirate Lady Anabelle.

**

The day was, Jess was becoming convinced, utterly perfect.  It one of those heavenly expanses between sunrise and sunset when the weather was divine and the events taking place within it even more so.

~ "Jesse… Jesse sweetie… go outside and play now my darling…"~

The chamberlain was currently munching on a celebratory chocolate croissant while studying the invigorating downpour’s vain assault on his windowpane.  Rain, thunderstorms - he loved it like that.  So much more interesting than the blistering sun which he was sure to spend as little time in a possible.

~ "S’raining Mum … I can't go outside.   ‘sides, I wanna stay here…. "~

All that those little scraps of light did was give his idiot employees an excuse to do even less of what vaguely resembled work.

~"Well all right sweetie… you can see your little friends tomorrow! … Now I’m going out Jesse….will you be okay? ”~

~  "S’okay….. I don’t wanna play….. I wanna read…!” ~

Only a moron would think that the weather made the day though.  No, there was a new light in Jess’ life, a glow like no other.  On his desk, you see, were two things of unsurpassed beauty.

~ so beautiful… the books, their words…~

To his right was a new Book, shining in it’s blackness as it’s cover put the varnish of his desk to shame.  It wasn’t just radiant with shoe polish, after all.  The little volume was lit up by none other than a bright shiny new Plan.  Not just any plan, mind you, but a thing of clockwork beauty  - a thing which would rocket him to power faster than he had ever imagined.

~….they could take him anywhere… they could take him away…~

To his left were the Papers.  They too were shining, although the fact that they were worn with age was more than evident.  The papers were the key to the Plan and thus glorious by association – even if they were just badly scrawled footnotes from a long-forgotten summit.  Lady Anabelle and Princess Jillia had gotten on so well, but who could have guessed that they had drafted several treaties before adopting what was now the smouldering remains of a pact? Drafts which, rather conveniently, had fallen right into his hands when some filing clerk or other had found them wedged between tax reports during the last week's document sweeps.   The simple handwritten parchment were beyond value.

~….they could make him anything…..~

And they mocked him for saving everything.  Idiots.

~ "…. your little friends…." ~

~ "Nyah-nyah… Jesse the Rat!"  ~

~ "Nyah-nyah...  Jesse the Rat!"  ~

~ "Nyah-nyah… Jesse the Rat!" ~

Putting aside his snack, Jess removed a meticulously sharpened quill from it’s sentry.  He would have to keep a steady hand for this….

~ … those words…. if he could bend them, shift them…. ~

A razor thin scratch of ink.   A five metamorphasizes into the much more deadly six.

~ … he could change the meaning of everything…. ~

A counterfeit garuntee, nobility’s mark cast in brass, dipped into molten wax…

~ … he could take control…. ~

….and ever so carefully applied to faded parchment.   It was finished now… ‘proof’ positive of a covert alliance between Lady Anabelle and those 'evil scheming Highlanders'.  They would think she had known about Toto all along from her good friend Jillia.  They were too stupid to prove him wrong, and the wrath of the masses could be called down so easily.

~ "Ha-ha… Jesse the Rat!  Wassamatter, braniac?  Can’t take punch or two?  ……. " ~

~  ...Why...? ~

Uneducated ragged horedes.   They did so love to have someone to blame.

~"…. c’mon braniac, you think you’re better than us…? ... Shut up Jesse, just shut up..... you're stupid, STUPID!....." ~

Shuffling the documents together, Jess gave what was perhaps one of his rare puzzled looks.  He honestly didn’t understand why the entire world seemed to be so moronic.  Had they no sense? Why couldn't they see logic and be as efficient as hin?

~….you have no friends.….. loser……you’re just not normal…. Jesse the Rat!~

Glancing dejectedly at the other half of his tiny croissant, Jess regretfully nudged the tasty treat into the garbage.   A belly would just ruin his public image, and he rather liked being thin.  One couldn’t be too careful when they got as little exercise as Jess did.  Forgetting his lost temptation, the chamberlain carefully placed the documents in a deceptively worn file folder.  Leaving them exposed to the elements would have been foolish, and by placing them a nondescript packaging he could hide them in plain sight.  Camouflage was, at this stage, critical.

~…. you think we can’t see what you are?…. Fat and stupid, that’s you lardball…. Don’t come near, you might get hungry and start eating me…..~

~ Jesse’s always hungry, aren’t you Jesse….?  Stupid Jesse……~

~ Jesse the Rat! ~

With these, the blame would fall on the woman he was absolutely positively not in love with.  With these he would be Lord Jess Stanton, Mayor of Muse and de-facto leader of the Jowston Alliance.

~ …. he didn’t want to think about going outside…. he didn’t, couldn’t play their games…. ~

~…. He liked the words….. if he kept reading, thinking, then he could do anything….  He would show them… he wouldn’t care what they called him…. ~

But first he had to let the war progress a little further.  With a smidge of suffering the people would be much more receptive to his little coup d’etat.  Anabelle…. She would have to fall by the wayside – to just not matter anymore.  Jess would simply have to lock up his soul and not care what she thought, no care that she would know what he had done, not care that his beloved masterpiece would burn her and break her. The chamberlain needed to be strong, to forget.  He instinctively knew that she saw on some level what he was, no matter how much pride he took it wouldn’t matter to her.  She would never, ever love him. And so Jess had to move foreward, for in being what he was he could find the only happiness that wasn't with her.

~JESSE THE RAT!~

~JESSE THE RAT!~

~JESSE THE RAT!~

Preferring to live a little while longer, Jess eradicated that fleeting truth from the recesses of his mind.   The drones needed to be pacified after their extended work hours.   It was time for the Regretful Chamberlain to enter, stage right.

~ … he knew it, he just knew it……. he could be anything….~

Stupid Janice from accounting…. her hand was in this or his name wasn’t Wallace Stadtmier!  Everyone else was out getting their bonus paycheque in the great hall – including Evil Janice.  But would Wallace receive any accolade for backbreaking labor and minor felony?  Nooooooo…. He had been sent to tidy up Lord Jess’ office during the speech.

Well this was the last time, the very last!  He would show her a thing or two.  Stupid woman… he knew she was a bad seed when she kept calling him a gopher instead or a requisitions specialist.  Was a little respect too much to ask?

They were all conspiring against him.

Snatching a bedraggled looking file that lay on Lord Jess desk – one which he was sure to miss – Wallace was filled with anticipatory elation.  Lord Jess would throw a fit at their misplacement despite the fact that they were obviously just scribbled garbage, and Wallace would blame it on Janice!

And they thought that he was too stupid for the Muse civil service…. Hah!