The much rumored Mist Monster that was supposed to haul travellers never attacked Gremio, as he suspected.  It was just as well.  The adrenaline rush flowing through Gremio's bruised and battered body would probably have sufficed to give the creature a beating that would have given it nightmares for a month.

   The guards to the City-State of Jowston were too busy talking off to the side of their post to stop a screaming Gremio in time as he sped past them, as if his butt was on fire.

   By the time Gremio calmed himself, he had left them far in the dust.  Panting and wheezing, he hobbled over to a large rock and sat down to think.  He had just made a long trip in a fraction of the time normally needed.  And his feet were complaining about it by throbbing fiercely.

    A small, folded up piece of paper fell out of the new hole in his tattered green cloak and landed in
front of him.  Picking it up and unfolding it, Gremio remembered that Lepant's aide had given him a map of the City-States.  It was a three year old map, but many of the large cities and small towns were still there.  Ryube Village, a small community, was many miles to the south.  But it was closer than Toto Village, the other close town.

   Groaning to his feet, Gremio started to trudge along the dirt road to Ryube Village.  The sun slowly
started to rise and soon hung in the sky as Gremio made it to the outskirts of Ryube.

   Turning around, he noted that about a dozen FurFurs were following him in formation.  As soon as they all noticed Gremio looking, they made high-pitched squeaks and hopped up and down.

   "Shoo!  Go away!" Gremio yelled at them.  He made shoo-ing gestures with his hands, but they still followed him.  The townsfolk watched Gremio with rather odd expressions as he tried to locate the local inn with a dozen furballs in tow.

   They all "beep"ed like stuffed animals that had been squeezed and crowded around Gremio's legs as he read the signs on doors.

   Finally locating what must be the inn, Gremio opened the door and tried to shut it before the things
followed him, but they all ganged up and slammed the door open with their combined weight.  Gremio flew a bit and skidded along the floor until bashing his head on the innkeeper's desk.  The innkeeper leaned over his desk and peered down at Gremio.

   "Sorry, we don't accept pets here."

   Gremio looked up at the innkeeper and sighed.

   "F-forgive me, sir.  They are not my pets.  They just started following me here and I can't get rid of
them."

   The innkeeper looked back at the furfurs and scrutinized them for a second.

   "Those wild monsters are known for following people home and becoming hard to get rid of, but I've never seen so many take a shine to a single person before.  Are you good with pets?"

   "No!"

   All it took was for Gremio to conjure up one image of the Jackalope for his response.

   Standing up, Gremio managed to talk shop with the innkeeper while ignoring the furfurs wandering about the first floor of the inn.

   With much pleading, Gremio managed to talk the innkeeper into giving him a room for awhile.  While Gremio happily headed off to the dining room to get something to eat, the innkeeper's assistant was unsuccessfully trying to sweep the little creatures out the front door with a broom.

   The dining area of the same inn was the local meeting place of the elders of Ryube Village.
Frankly, it was the only place large enough for five people to place all their papers and talk late into
the night, without their spouses getting pissed.

   They weren't all old.  In fact, most of the five were rather young.  It was a hereditary position and
thrust upon those who didn't want it.  I mean, who would?  It's Ryube Village, with all the excitement of a broken rubix cube.

   Business was slow today, however, for they were many times interrupted by a furfur on the table.
Managing to get them clear for a good moment, they started the meeting.  Gremio, having nothing better to do, listened to them intently.

   "Fellow villagers, we are facing dark days ahead." Elder Shiera commented gravely.

   "Oh no!  Higher lantern prices . . .!" the rather slow Elder Gorbash shouted.  He was short and stout, not to mention kind of dumb.

   "We've got word that our local gang leader, Rumil, is planning something really nasty again," Elder
Dolldino drolled out with his nasal voice, shuffling through some papers.

   "That means you forced someone to volunteer to find out," Elder Hendrem said as he glared at Dolldino evenly.  Hendrem is rather uninteresting and merits no further description.

   "Yes, I saw Dolldino preying on some local young boy, filling his head with fame and fortune if he
helped on another one of those crazy espionage missions."

   The last Elder was someone Gremio recognized from Viktor and Flik's stories during the Toran War.  The man was Tsai of the Divine Spear, a legendary weaponsmith who has been rumored to be able to fix just about any kind of weapon of war imaginable.  Even those made by dwarves.

   "It wasn't a local boy," Dolldino remarked sharply.  Then in a lower tone, he continued.  "It was that assistant to Dr. Huan . . . Tuta."

   "Tuta?!"  Tsai seemed upset by the news.  "You sent that poor child to where Rumil's gang hangs out by himself?!  Are you trying to get him killed?!"

   Rumil, Gremio gathered, was the leader of a small gang of youths who were kicked out of both Muse AND Toto for their unruley behavior and hung out in Ryube a couple months out of the year.  They annoyed the local populace and got on everyone's nerves.

   Unfortunately, Rumil and some of the other leaders were prodigies who skipped Greenhill and moved on to the realm of evil geniuses.  Where is the world coming to, these days?

   Meanwhile, at the deserted building where Rumil's gang hides out, Tuta was dressed in a cloak, hood, face mask, and a 200 potch pair of elevator shoes.  And with all that, no one seemed to suspect a thing.

   Tuta was holding a tray with a drink on it to Rumil, who was sitting on a bunch of beanbag chairs.

   "Your cola, sir."

   "'bout time!" Rumil growled, snatching it from the tray.

   Rumil stuck a straw in the glass and waited as a punk teen wearing a red obi-wan kenobi robe walked in, carrying what appeared to be a bomb on a pillow.

   "Rumil!  The ultimate weapon is ready!" Nephets said proudly.

   "'bout time," Rumil growled.

   Tuta stared at the bomb a moment before walking up to Nephets with a pad and pencil.

   "Exactly how do you work the bomb?" Tuta asked, taking down notes.

   "You throw it." Nephets replied.  Rumil, off to the side, was spraying out his drink in disgust.

   "PTEWWW!!!  What IS this?!  I didn't order a spring water plain -- I wanted a spring water crunchy!"

   "This stupid bomb will make anyone reaaaaaaaly stupid for hours!" Nephets shouted, jumping up and down, trying to bring attention back to the bomb.

   "No one can stop us from walking around and stealing what we want back at Muse!"

   Rumil had already blocked out Nephets's voice and walked over to Tuta, shouting at him.  Tuta slipped out of the robe, shoes, and mask, but Rumil didn't seem to notice and shouted at the pile of clothes on the floor.

   "Hey, where did you get this crummy robe?  What cheap material!  What shoddy workmanship!"

   "I bought it yesterday at the market." Tuta replied, running up to Nephets.

   "You look tired.  Let me hold that for you." Tuta said, grabbing the bomb out of Nephets's hands and running off with it.

   "Thanks!  You're a pal." Nephets replied.

   "You're a disgrace to your uniform!  Stand up while I'm yelling at you, you limp wimp!" Rumil was still yelling at the clothing.  "SPEAK UP, FOOL!"

   "I bet Rumil was the inspiration for the stupid bomb," Tuta smirked, carrying the bomb away while the rest of the gang stared at the irate Rumil.

   A short time later, the elders were still yelling at each other while Gremio just watched the debate,
fascinated at how this governing body was just immature as the system back in Toran.

   "I think it would be a mistake to try to force Rumil's little hooligans out of town." Shiera sounded
rather tired and cranky from lack of sleep.

   "The only reasonable course is to wait and see." Dolldino was shuffling papers and also seemed
exhausted from the days debates.

   "We'd be sitting ducks for any retaliation they might pull, since all our soldiers were called away to
Muse," Hendrem sighed.

   "It'd be the dumbest thing we could do," Tsai concluded the thought with.

   So naturally, Tuta came running through the inn door with the bomb in his hands.

   "HEY, GUYS . . !  LOOK WHAT I GOT!!!"

   The principle of incredible obvious plot devices kicked in, so Tuta tripped over about half of the
furfurs still in the room and the bomb went flying from his hands, going off in an explosion of:

   DUHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

   As soon as the black "duh" smoke cleared, everyone pulled themselves out from under the overturned furniture and looked rather buzzed.

   "Let's attack whatshisname!" Sheira babbled, looking almost like she was drunk.

   "I can take Rumil's brats single-handed!" Tsai said, twirling about.

   "I'd use both hands if I were you." Gremio said, trying to see straight.

   "I think I did something wrong, but I don't remember what." Tuta looked around, distressed,
sucking his thumb.

   "I'd insult you if I was smart enough." Dolldino mumbled.

   "What's going on? I don't feel any different." Gorbash blinked.

   "Gorbash," Tsai said to him, standing with Gremio.  "This guy and I are going to attack Rumil, okay?"

   "Makes perfect sense to me!" Gorbash smiled.

   "I don't know why everyone says Gorbash is so dumb," Tsai said to Gremio as they left the inn.
Gorbash's eyes went wide a little and he turned to Dolldino.

   "Who says I'm dumb?!!"

   "I'd make you a list, but I forgot how."

   "I'm the smartest one here!" a rather pleased Gorbash declared to the group.

   "Yes, Gorbash." Hendrem said.  "That's why we're in big trouble."

   On the other side of Ryube, the entire membership of Rumil's gang were gathered in front of a little
makeshift stand Nephets was standing on.  He was lecturing them while each person held a Stupid Bomb in their hands.

   "Gentlemen, you have been equiped with the most powerful weapon known to modern warfare.  Remember, the bomb is perfectly safe, as long as you don't drop it."

   "Uh oh!" shouted a voice from the back.

   "Is there a problem back there?" Nephets shouted.

   "Ummmm . . . maybe!" the voice replied.

   KATWITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

   The smoke cleared and the entire gang had swirly eyes and stupid grins on their faces, some sticking their tongues out.

   "Boy, somebody's going to get a good-natured razzing when I get smart again!" Nephets hiccuped.

   So, the gang all broke formation and started doing all sorts of stuff with their Stupid Bombs.  Some
snuggled it like a stuffed animal, others juggled several, and a few were even trying to eat them.
Nephets just shook his head.

   "Okay, guys, I'm a little disappointed that we're all stupid now, but let's face it, we weren't Rocket
Scientists to begin with."

   "Hi!  I'm Henry the Talking Bomb and I want to be your friend!" Someone said, doing a ventrilloquist act with his bomb.

   Gang members were tossing bombs left and right, some of them throwing bombs together, making them go "Kastoopa!".  Others were balancing their bomb on their heads.  The end result?  More explosions.

   "Come on, you guys!!  Rumil's going to be real mad when he finds out what happened!" Nephets pleaded.

   "Rumil who?" a gang member asked.

   Just then, Tsai and Gremio, still pretty spaced out walked up to the frolicking gang and Tsai tapped Nephets on the shoulder to get his attention from the bomb tossing lunatics.

   "Excuse me, is this the gang that we're supposed to beat up?"

   "We have guests . . ?" Nephets gasped.  "And on one told me?!"

   Tsai and Gremio watched the frantic gang leader gather up about seven Stupid Bombs in his hands and giving them to Tsai.

   "Here, honored guests!  Please accept these tokens of our hospitality."

   "Oh, thank you." Tsai responded.  He took the bombs and handed some of them over to Gremio.  They cradled the Stupid Bombs in their arms and walked off with them.

   "I guess this means we won," Tsai wondered out loud to Gremio.

   "Yeah.  Let's go tell the others." Gremio replied, before dropping one of his.

   KADUMMY!!!!!!!!!

   "That was my fault."

   "What was?"

   Back at the gang's hangout later on, Rumil sat in his beanbag chair and watched a frantic Nephets blurt out what had been going on over in the middle of town.

   "Let me get this straight: You just HANDED the elders several Stupid Bombs and let them walk home?"

   "I'm pretty sure we did . . and some of the less stupid guys said that we weren't supposed to!"
Nephets looked really frantic and was sweating profusely.

   Much to his surprise, Rumil jumped out of his chair with a huge grin on his face and was doing a little dance.

   "Actually, that's exactly what I was HOPING would happen!"

   "Maybe the bombs made me dumber than I thought . . . HUH?!" Nephets shouted as Rumil's statement sunk in.

   "Those guys will take those bombs back to the elders' meeting place.  One of those idiots is SURE to set one off, making everyone there even stupider!  Then, we loot the town!"

   "How?" Nephets asked.  "We're as dumb as mud ourselves."

   "Dumber.  But . . . do you believe in Magic Cheese?" Rumil winked.

   "I don't get it." Nephets responded, still looking very very confused.

   Rumil pulled on a rope near a large curtain, which pulled back to reveal a glowing wheel of cheese
sitting on a platter.  Nephets stared at it while Rumil went over to a wooden chest where all the
alcohol was stored.  He took out a bottle and opened it with his teeth.

   "It's simple.  We feed some of that stuff to our OWN people to counteract the effects of the Stupid Bombs!  I made some before the elders stole the recipe back from me."

   "You mean, these things make you smart?"

   Rumil turned around and his eyes grew wide with shock as a still idiotic and hungry Nephets downed the whole wheel in three bites.  Nephets wiped his chin with a satisfied grin, until his entire head started to swell larger and larger.  There was a rupture eminant, making Rumil duck for cover.

   EUREKA!  BOOM!!!

   "E = Mc 2!" Nephets shouted, with a graduation cap on his head.

   "I don't see how this could possibly work out to my advantage." Rumil groaned loudly.

   Nephets walked over to Rumil's beanbag chair and plopped down in it.  He was settling himself as the rather angry Rumil walked over and stood in front of it.  Nephets looked at him.

   "You understand that I'm going to take over this organization and run it efficiently for a change.
Nothing personal, of course."

   "I don't need a partner!" Rumil shouted.

   Nephets leaned to his left and uncovered a lever on the ground that was obscurred by some of the folds of the beanbag chair.  He flipped it, causing a trap door to open up under Rumil.

   "Being the world's smartest genius, I have deduced the location of all your secret traps."

   "I'm beginning to not like you!" Rumil shouted as he fell.  A gout of flame shot up from the trap door after Rumil fell in.

   "I believe the trap door leads to the fiery Demon Kindergarten."

   "Oooh!  Lookie!  It's Mr. Rumil!"

   "Can I sit on your lap, Mr. Rumil?"

   "YEOWTCH!  OWTCH!  Careful kid, will ya?  YEOWW!!!"
 
   And with that, the trap door snapped shut, and Nephets began to pace around the room.

   "What shall I do first?  Get fitted for King's robes or raise taxes?  Ah, decisions decisions."

   Later on, back at the inn, everyone started to regain their intelligence.  The elders and Tuta all
shook their heads, the last of the effects from the Stupid Bombs leaving them.

   "I'm starting to feel brighter!" Sheira smiled.

   "Does that mean lower lantern prices?" Gorbash asked.  He had taken over the meeting and doodled all over the important documents with a pencil.

   "Suddenly, I'm no more confused than usual."  Gathering his things, Tuta stumbled out of the inn and down the road that led to Muse, to report in to Dr. Huan.

   "And I'm smart again!" Dolldino announced.  "I remember how to make a list."

   "What's going on?  I don't feel any different." Gorbash shook his head.

   While Dolldino make out a large scroll of a list that read:

   Who Says Gorbash is Dumb?
 
   - Shiera
   - Tuta
   - Hendrem
   - Tsai
   - Lady Anabelle
   - Gremio
   - Sasuke
   - Millie
   - Young Master McDohl
   - Dr. Huan
   - Erich Lichnock
   - King Agares
   - Gengen
   - Leona
   - Etc.

   Tsai and Hendrem walked into the dining area, each carrying one Stupid Bomb.  It was all they had left after dropping most of them on the way.  Gremio had given his to Hendrem and got a secret recipe for some kind of Magic Cheese out of gratitude.

   "Look what we got!" Tsai anounced.  "The spoils of war."

   "War?" Sheira looked at both Hendrem and Tsai with confusion on her face.  "I vaguelly recall something about a stupid war, but . . ."

   "A stupid war?  And no one invited me?!" Gorbash protested.

   "I'm a little fuzzy on this 'war' thing, too." Tsai said, looking at the bomb in his hands.

   "Well, I'm sure we won something, I think."  Hendrem examined his bomb.  "Maybe THESE things . . ."

   "What do you suppose they do?"

   "I don't know.  Let's set one off and see!"

   "Uh, sirs, please be careful.  Those devices look dangerous." Dolldino warned.

   KA-STOOOOOOOOOPID!!!!!!!!!!!

   With the minds of their leaders dempened, is the town of Ryube doomed?

   . . . . nah.

   "My fellow comrades!" Nephets said, atop his stand again.  "Because of my clearly superior intellect, I will henchforth be your ruler.  Listen to what I say!"

   The gang, however, were still playing beach party with their Stupid Bombs.  Some were using the bombs for baseball, while others playing volleyball with one, another using it for basketball, while others just threw them at each other.  And they all went off alot.

   "You know, if you smash two of these stupid bombs together, you get an even BIGGER boom!!"

   "I have one, too!  That makes five!!"

   Gremio trudged down the road to Toto village, his mind still whirling a bit from all the puffs of smoke that could be seen erupting from Ryube.

   On the bright side, there were rumors of the Young Master headed towards Toto . . . and those furfurs were too dumb to follow him.  That, and he got a new recipe to try out when he returned to Gregminster.