Gilbert and Rowd Chapter 15
"More Bathroom Perils"
(L'Renouille)


Rowd woke up to the picture of a short, funny looking man in a very odd green costume looking down at him. Next to the man in green, was an older man, with a goatee. He had on pretty basic clothing, and a long brown cape.

The man in green spoke, "Hey, hey, hey! He's awake! You think he'd be useful in your unit, Gilbert? Do you? I think he might, his name's Rowd, Captain Rowd. He's the one who slaughtered...er i mean, that is a Captain named Rowd. Yeah."

The man, who's name was appearently Gilbert, looked down at Rowd, and nodded. Appearantly, they were thinking the same thing, and then they both punched Worm, knocking him out cold.

"Nice to meet you, Captain," Gilbert said, shaking Rowd's hand.

"Yeah, ditto. But uh...why am I, or uh where am I?" Rowd responded.

Hmph, another stupid one... Gilbert thought to himself while he said, "You're in L'Renouille. I was out training soldiers when you came floating over. We still don't know how you were floating, but uh...you were."

Rowd's eyes grew wide. Frank must've carried me back! "I...I have to see Agares! Quickly!" Rowd jumped up and ran out of the room.

"Weird guy..." Gilbert thought to himself.


"Where is Jillia?" King Agares asked as he looked down at the trembling Rowd.

"She was um...she was captured. I, I tried to stop them, and I managed to down a few of them, but they were too strong and took her away, so I came here to get help..." Rowd said, still shaking. Agares fixed a look on Rowd, as a large sweat drop formed at his head.

".....You should be punished Rowd. But I beleive you. I beleive that you had no control over the situation, so you may go free...this time."

Rowd jumped in the air, giggling like a school girl, and then he skipped the rest of the way out of the throne room.


Gilbert walked the hollow halls of the castle, trying very hard to find the bathroom. Damnit, what's a man have to do to take a leak around here? He continued walking until he bumped into Haze, the soldier he met the night he first came here, "General Gilbert! I've been looking all over for you!"

Gilbert nodded.

"I found this" Haze said as he held out a rune that was completely white.

"Uh...nice rock, kid," Gilbert said, wondering where the bathroom was.

"It's a Spectre Rune," Haze continued, "it enables you to see the un-dead. Pretty neat huh? Thought you would want it, I can attach it if you like."

Gilbert, who wasn't paying attention because he had to go so badly, said, "Yeah, whatever kid, hurry up." Gilbert held out his hand and Haze attached the rune.

"Thanks," said Gilbert as he ran off.

Gilbert eventually wound up right where he started, in Captain Rowd's room. There was a person standing there, he was quite pale.

"Hey you, do you know where the bathroom is?" Gilbert asked the pale man. The pale man looked at him in shock, "First Jillia, now this gentleman? Oh wonderful! Just wonderful! No, I have no clue where the bathroom is, I don't use the bathroom, I'm dead!"

Gilbert stared at him. Then blinked, then stared some more, "Uh...what?"

"I'm dead! D-E-A-D, dead!" Frank yelled.

Rowd then entered the room, "Shut up, Frank!"

"Well, I'm sorry brother, but this gentleman can see me and doesn't understand it!" Frank replied to his brother.

"He can? Oh great. First Jillia now General Gilbert."

"That's what I said."

Gilbert looked more confused than a human being can possibly understand, "SHUT-UP!!"

Rowd and Frank both looked over at him in silence. The silence was so strong, you could hear a pin drop. "All I want to do," continued Gilbert, "is take a shit! Why is that so complicated? I don't want to see dead people! I don't want some rock on my hand! I want to use the bathroom!"

Rowd walked over to Gilbert, who seemed extremely angry, "Um...there's one right there." Rowd pointed a little bit to the left on Gilbert, who didn't even look. He just punched Rowd in the face, and walked into the bathroom.


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"Gilbert", "Rowd" and "Suikoden 2" are (C) Konami, 1999.
This chapter was posted on April 10, 2000