Whatever possessed me to do that?

Eilie Alara knelt on the floor, hands palm downwards on the cool stone floor. Her dark hair, tied in a braid, fell on her shoulder, cascading down her back like a short, dark waterfall. Her short skirt drooped over her legs.

Are you that desperate to get into Muse? How far were you going to take it if you’d succeeded? All the way?

Exhausted… She’d been exhausted and wasn’t thinking clearly. She deserved this, that was sure. What she had done was low… She deserved whatever she would get for what she’d done.

You don’t use your body!! You don’t defile special human acts!!

Exhausted… She had to have been more exhausted than she thought. To run right into a gate and not even watch where she was going… To do as she’d done with the guard… The journey had tried her more than she had noticed. Only now, crouched on the prison floor, did the enormity of her exhaustion seep through into her weary limbs, and fogged mind.

You wanted this.

You wanted to prove that you’re capable of functioning without your sister there to watch over you. So prove it!

What would’ve happened, she wondered, if she had decided not to strike out on her own? They would’ve most likely aimed for the border villages near Highland. But instead she’d wanted to strike out on herself. She’d agreed to accompany them to Makai’s domain and then part company there. They’d have a better chance of finding audiences there as just the two of them; thus they had headed there.

What if? She chuckled ruefully. That’s stupid. What is is. The lives of countless people might be following different paths if they’d made different choices. Life is what is now due to the choices people have made now to bring us to this point.

A thought hit her.

Better here than that cultured clown at least, though.

She couldn’t stand people who thought they were higher than others. Clothing, wealth, views on life… None of it made a difference. Each living being was just that, an individual human being. They deserved to be treated as equals.

Equals in life, individuals who were all equally important.

Thinking about life always brought back memories of Bolgan.

Tears brimmed in her eyes as her memories fell back to that day so long ago.

Bolgan had once been a brilliant young man. Cheerful and happy, he had been able to enjoy life well. He hadn’t been perfect, no one was. She remembered the times he had been scolded for doing something he shouldn’t have done as a child, the times he had accidentally said something that hurt another. She preferred to remember his better traits, though, and, indeed, they had shined, swallowing up the few less good ones as if they didn’t exist. He was plain, not underweight, or overweight, not muscular, yet not scrawny. However, he had had a brilliant mind. By the age of eleven he had skipped numerous schooling ranks and had employed in the highest academy in the whole country. He made it through his first two years there managing to enroll in every course and make it through at the top of each.

A tear fell, followed by others.

Upon his second year graduation party they had been raided by a group of rogue Matilda Knights. She could still remember that moment as clearly as if it had just happened. She had managed to force away one of the Matilda Knights who had been about to cut her sister’s throat and wrenched his sword from his grasp. The Matilda Knight had picked up her father’s crowbar, which he had been using for self-defense, and managed to kick her down with her back facing upwards. The Matilda Knight had swung the crowbar down…

…And Bolgan had thrown himself on top of her, in a position to do so only with the back of his head exposed to the crowbar. It had connected with incredible force. Eilie’s uncle dropped the last two Matilda Knights with his Singularity knife throwing trick.

Everyone save Bolgan was okay.

At first it seemed as if he wouldn’t survive. The first hours had been hectic, and it had been a miracle he had even pulled through then. On and off throughout the next eleven months he had teetered on the edge of passing into eternal oblivion. Yet he managed to remain alive. His chances of ever waking up were thought to be slim too, and for the next year, and five months he had remained in a coma. Indeed it seemed as if he might never wake up.

Yet one day he did at last.

He had no memory of anything that had happened to him before his awakening, and as time went on it became apparent that not only did he have a complete lack of memory, and was thus nothing more than a big baby, his brain had also been damaged irreparably. There was a very slim chance that he would be able to progress much past a child’s mentality, if even much past that of a four year old’s.

Tears cascaded from her eyes, falling in a rain.

She forced her memories away.

If you’d been a bit stronger, a bit faster, a bit more skilled…

And thinking about her powerlessness then brought her back to how dependant she was on her sister.

She remembered the village boys and girls laughing at her for always having to run back to her sister for protection. "Sister’s girl!" they’d called her. The worst encounter had been when a boy had played a prank on her sister, beaten her up badly, and broken her leg, and then proceeded to break both Eilie’s legs to show how powerless she was without her older sister to protect her.

Never again.

I’ll function without Rina there to protect me if its the last thing I do.

In a way, she blamed herself for some of the attacks her sister had suffered simply because they were targeted at her. She recalled the common attacks on Rina – one person going so far as to even pretend he was going to stab her… For that one he had been arrested the next day but the wounds in Eilie’s heart would never heal… And taunted her about how Rina could protect her but if Rina was attacked she had no one to save her. That she was only able to take and never to give, that she couldn’t keep her sister from the same fate Rina could keep her from.

I’m so sorry, Rina. I’m so sorry.

She forced her mind away from the painful memories, and it turned to the only primary facet left.

The Karayan attacks.

The Karayans were Grassland people incredibly skilled, among other things, in the arts of fighting. That she had been able to survive so long against them – and with a few other incidents regardless, such as the aristocrat being able to take out one of them, and knock another off the boat – meant that the Karayans who were sent after were not very well skilled, possibly undergoing some type of mission training. Either that or she was being targeted by some of the dregs of Karayan fighting potential. The reasons for both she didn’t know.

Anything in my past?

She couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary.

Another complication.

And with my life possibly in the balance.

Although she had indeed struck in ways that might possibly take lives, she had been careful to make sure her blades had never struck deeply, if the blade portion indeed struck at all. When dealing with the skilled warriors the Karayans were she couldn’t afford taking any chances, and had to strike in as effective a fashion as possible. When she had thrown her knife at one’s throat she had made sure to use the pommel, and had thus simply increased enough pressure on the Karayan’s throat fast enough to cause him to black out. The pommel had possibly made an imprint, but although it had penetrated the flesh by pressing it inwards, hadn’t actually penetrated by opening it. When striking at the Karayan’s back to prevent the aristocrat from becoming involved with her battle she had hit low, so at worst all he would get was a severed spine.

Her life, however, she could tell from the attacks, most likely was indeed in danger.

She shivered.

Oh, Rina, where are you when I need yo-

No!!!!

She clenched her teeth. Never again.

Yet she knew none of these thoughts were going to leave her during her prison stay. They would remain, fed by the shadows around her to become stronger, and would torture her all throughout the duration of her time in this prison.

Before she hadn’t cared how long her punishment would be. Now she realized that she didn’t really mean that.

She would give anything to get out of this prison cell; away from the shadows that fed the darkness never far away from the surface of her mind.

She hated solitude.

She hated it because being alone usually always meant her mind would wander, and would inevitably fall back to her painful memories. Loneliness was thus always painful. The thought of spending perhaps years in solitary confinement was more than she could bear.

Oh, Rina, where are you!!??

She pressed her face against the cool cobblestones and let the tears flow.

Two days passed.

At times she was able to observe and learn something from passersby. Apparently what she’d originally thought was a war as they came into the Jowston City-States was actually simple tensions over the validity of a peace treaty between their country and that of the Highland Kingdom. There had been many peace treaties in the past, and thus the people found it hard pressed to believe in one each time one came up.

But now, things had changed. As fast as that ‘this was real’ seemed to gradually be accepted there was a sudden change, and rumors had began again to abound again of war coming from the Highland Kingdom. Ones that had struck close to Muse, resulting in the lockup that had brought her to where she was now.

Typical humans. Fighting for expansion simply because one or both won’t share their land. Fighting out of vengeance because they have to make the people who fought against them pay for their crimes instead of just letting things be done with and moving on. Fighting to enforce rules and guidelines because the ones up high feel that they know what’s right and wrong for everyone, and thus place themselves at the center of the world, and make it important for them to determine what’s right and wrong. Fighting because they view their beliefs are better than that of others so they should determine how life is run. Fighting because of others’ idiocy in the regards of rule enforcement and thus finding it necessary to fight for freedom. Fighting because they craved what others craved and weren’t satisfied with not having it.

Selfish. Unable to be satisfied for not having something or then for shirking from war and finding a peaceable solution once they’ve begun, for such cowardly terms as ‘honor’, and other such trash. Selfish. Not being able to be satisfied until others paid for what they had done. Selfish. Determining one knew right from wrong, making oneself the center of the universe. Selfish. Thinking their beliefs determine how life should be run. Selfish, even, when fighting for freedom, because they were still fighting. Being driven to the point of causing harm to another as long as their ideals came out ahead.

Eilie had little faith in humanity in general.

Go on. Bring your stupid war, shed blood on both sides for another indeterminate amount of time because you’re so darned selfish. Bring it on. Humanity causes enough suffering on personal levels as it is without having to bring large-scale aspects into play.

Fools.

"All right, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

Eilie perked up, thankful for the relief from solitude, and ceased the struggle to keep her mind on her better memories. She rose and headed to the bars.

Highland soldiers!?

What were they doing here?

Two men clad in the silver-and-blue armor of the Highland Imperial Guard were standing just near the jail cell, talking to each other heatedly.

"Its rather simple. If he’s headed home for Kyaro then he had to have gotten past the gate guards. That in itself is also a simple fact. The point is, there’s no way the gate guards would’ve let him pass without knowing where he came from. That means they would’ve come to us. Which means he either bribed them or there was some other reason they let him through. That might place on our public relations with the Muse citizens. How do you think anyone in Muse might react to the fact that a Highland boy was let through the gate for special reasons? Nevermind a boy who had come here accompanied by the Imperial Guard? Regardless of that fact is its going to look awfully suspicious for two Highland Imperial Soldiers to have to track down said boy and return him for his audience, one which would have to be rescheduled too, at that, most likely."

"I see your point," the other said. "So in effect the young Atriedes has made it that much more difficult to achieve a meeting with Lady Anabelle and the rest. I had a feeling that might be what you were thinking."

"Do we have any idea what happened to the other survivor? They say he was present at the slaughter. If he could be found–"

"It’ll be the same thing. Possibly even worse. Do you know how suspicious it’ll look if we return here with another young man than if we return with the same one. At least if we return with young Jowy Atriedes we at least return with the same person, so that might squelch some suspicion. But with another?

"Besides, that’s based on a foolish hope we could actually find him!"

"So what’s left?"

"We find young Master Atriedes," the man spoke. "We bring him back into our custody. And we take him to His Majesty King Agares and let them decide what to make of this situation. Hopefully its not too late to deal with any extremists that might be about."

They began to depart, and Eilie watched them go.

She shivered as a man clad in a familiar garb slunk out of the shadows.

How did they find me!?

A desert-skinned, black-haired man darted out, in one smooth motion extending a leg under one of the Highlanders, and tripping him up, while bringing a knife down on his sword belt. The Highlander hissed in shock and crouched, kicking back with one armored boot, and catching the attacker in the knee. He spun around, unsheathing a knife, and slashed upwards, catching his attacker across the chest.

The other Highlander was shouting at the prison guards. "We have political sanctuary here!!"

The guards were moving as fast as they could.

Eilie realized what was going on and hurled herself away from the bars.

Two Lightning Runes ignited, one shooting at the Highlanders, the other at the bars, a Bolt of Wrath. The Highlanders threw themselves to opposite sides of the oncoming bolt, ripping along the pavement, as the Muse guards called over more of their comrades to aid the Highlanders.

The second Bolt of Wrath smashed into the prison bars in front of Eilie, detonating in a thunderclap, sending stone, and bars flying everywhere, raining rubble on her face. She heaved a sigh of relief. Two Karayans raced through the smoke, wielding long, triple-pronged blades.

Sais.

"For the honor of the Karayans!" one shouted, before lunging.

She backed up to the wall and swore, fighting to keep tears from her eyes.

So this is it, huh?

She wouldn’t go without a fight, though!

She lunged forwards, aiming directly for the sai with one hand, and then ducked, rolling forwards under the swing, bowling over one of the Karayans. Before he could fall forward she swung him backwards. She leapt free, smashing the foot of her heel into the Karayan, and brought it free, leaping from a sai swing. The Karayan who she had bowled over was on his feet in an instant, a knife lunging straight from her throat. She ducked to find another knife was in the Karayan’s other hand and was coming right at her right breast. She quickly moved away, the knife cutting deeply into her side, but barely enough to do much harm to her. Pain screamed up her side, but she managed to fall onto the ground before an incoming sai swing, and rolled between the legs of her other attacker, coming to her feet behind his fallen form, and lunging forwards into another roll instinctively, a knife swing from the Karayan wielding the two knives piercing the air centimeters behind where her neck had just been. Then she was up and throwing herself into another roll, expecting a knife to follow her on her path running, and then suddenly flipping into a jump in case one came at her roll.

Which it did.

The Karayans had obviously expected that blow and had waited for her roll before throwing. Knives fell between her legs, one smashing right below her foot, and upsetting her balance mid-jump. She fell onto her back.

Before the finishing blow could come, a Highland Soldier charged through the opened prison wall, a Karayan impaled on his spear, and smashed that Karayan into the wall, giving Eilie the seconds she needed to get into another roll, and roll through the doorway. The Karayans, who had had to sidestep the charging Highlander, and thus gave her the opportunity to not only do that, but curve her roll beyond the walls to her left. She rolled forwards, using the momentum to get to her feet, and ran straight into the midst of the ongoing battle in the streets, trusting more to survival amidst chaos than dealing with two who were actually targeting her.

The other Highland Soldier was engaged with a Karayan in a weapon-Rune battle. The Karayan was wielding a Lighting Rune in a fashion that was rather unique among any she had heard of. He was using it as a charged weapon, striking out with it, tongues of lighting leaping out from it like a whip. The Highlander made a series of feints with his blade before hurling it at the man’s chest. The Karayan brought up a Lightning Rune tongue to catch it, but it was too late. The electricity entered the blade as it entered the Karayan’s chest. The electricity was conducted through the blade into the Karayan, who fell to the ground screaming from electric shock.

Eilie charged wildly into the struggle, pivoting, and dodging by instinct. More and more Muse soldiers were pouring onto the scene, armed with their own respective Runes. The other Highland Soldier was back in the fray, twirling his spear, moving with the ease of an expert combat veteran, blocking, and parrying blows, sidestepping Runic attacks, and delivering damage in a strong, yet concentrated way.

Two Explosions erupted on the battlefield, consuming a large number of Karayans. The Muse soldiers used this opportunity to move forwards and quickly place themselves in various formations around the battlefield where they would be able to more easily direct its flow. Eilie, a good deal away from her cell, and the battle, now, ran around the corner of a nearby building, and rested against the wall, out of the battle zone.

The young woman pressed her back against the cool stone, panting.

The wound in her right side throbbed painfully, but she ignored it.

The sounds of a continuing struggle resounded nearby, but it registered only dimly within the mind of the young woman.

What now?

She couldn’t stay in Muse. Regardless of whether or not she was under arrest it was no longer a safe place for her to stay. The Karayans had tracked her down somehow, and were clearly still out to slay her. That meant that every second she remained here she was in danger.

So much for your Muse vacation.

Tears welled in her eyes. She was hunted, a wanted woman, and bereft of all her belongings. Muse was locked up so she couldn’t get out of Muse, she was a large distance away from her sister, and brother, her plans were shattered, and had no idea where to go, or what to do now. She was a stranger in a strange land without purpose or cause.

And she was completely alone.

She couldn’t go back to the Two River State. If the Karayans had followed her here the route back would most likely be fraught with danger.

The plan was so simple. Strike out on your own, and make yourself useful by yourself. Then return to Bolgan and Rina after you’d ensured you weren’t dependant on your sister.

So much for said plan.

She was now a purposeless wanderer, doomed to loneliness. That thought sent an icy chill through her, one that expanded to fill up all her soul with freezing, biting cold.

A series of Runic detonations took place nearby, screams emitting from their locales. The sounds of weapons clashing resounded nearby and a shriek emitted, followed by a grunt as someone fell onto the ground.

You should never have done this!!

Already, less than a week after her journey began, it had collapsed in tatters around her. She’d set out by herself to try to prove she could look out for herself and had proven herself by far incapable of doing so.

She wanted Rina.

Yet she couldn’t go back to her now.

What was she supposed to do?

She could try to find somewhere else to go, and do something there. She could still stick with her original plan.

Where, though?

Ryube and Toto were in Muse territory, meaning she would most likely be tracked down if she went there. The only safe place to go was northwest, into the Highland Kingdom, and try her luck there.

But how do I know if there’s anything to do there? If she went to Highland and she couldn’t find any place to apply her talents then she would be left in an even stranger country with no point in being there. If war broke out she would most likely be separated from her brother and sister. If the Karayans managed to track her over the mountains, which they most likely inevitably would… After all, they had pursued her this far… It would make it that much harder for her to find a way back to her family. Regardless of how she wanted to be able to prove she could fend for herself she didn’t want to be separated from her brother and sister as much as she might risk if she headed for Highland.

Still, though, she had to admit to herself, It does seem to be the best choice.

Highland it would be, then.

She slowly moved away in the direction she was pretty sure the gates were located, wracking her brain to try to figure out how to get out of the city.

It didn’t take much time to figure out how to do so.

Hopefully it would be a while before her escape was noticed and people began to search for her.

She waited at the gates, generally keeping out of sight, until the Highland Imperial Guard appeared. She expected a long wait due to how long it would most likely take for the two men and the Muse soldiers to sort things out in the aftermath of the Karayan attack. Nevermind that the battle in the streets might go on for a while yet.

She wasn’t disappointed.

At last the two soldiers appeared, and she waited politely until they were close, before walking up to them.

She dropped to her right knee respectfully.

"You two are officers of the Highland Royal Guard, correct?" she asked.

The two looked rather annoyed at her presence. "Yes, we are," one of them said. "What of it?"

"I’m on the run from a nasty bunch of Karayans" Both guards stiffened at the mention of the people from the Grasslands "and need to seek safety outside the Jowston City-States," she responded in as courteous a tone as she good. "Might you two good sirs provide me an escort to Highland, if that is where you’re heading?"

"Absolutely not!" the other exclaimed. "We’re on pressing business and have no time for someone else to share our company! We cannot afford delays!"

"I can fend for myself," Eilie answered. "I have some skill with the knife, if I can judge myself accurately, and am capable of keeping up with an average traveler. Please, good sirs?"

"The answer is no!!"

The men’s legs tensed as they most likely prepared to move around her.

"Please, good sirs?" she implored again. "If I understand what’s going on right now, there’s the possibility of another war breaking out between Jowston, and Highland, and that Highland negotiators are present here. I’m presuming your business is concluded now. Even if you’re not returning to Highland, might you at least provide me an escort to wherever you’re going? I’ll put in a good word for the nice men from the Kingdom of Highland who helped out a poor lady."

One of the soldiers gestured to the other, and they both stepped back by the wall, and conferred in hushed voices.

Eilie waited, fighting hard to conceal her anxiety.

If they didn’t accept her she might at least be able to make it through the gates while they passed through. She removed that thought instantly – the Muse guards were trained, and would most likely be able to stop her. And if they did she severely doubted she would remain free, or get another chance like this again.

The walls protecting the city suddenly seemed like a cage to her, pressing in on her from all directions, smothering her, forcing her air from her lungs. A sudden wave of dizziness swept through her and she put her hand to her head.

Don’t leave me here, please!! Not all alone!!

At last the soldiers returned.

They nodded stiffly. "You may come," one of them said, teeth clenched, voice conveying he was none too pleased with this, but was willing to go through with it for Highland’s sake. "We are heading back to Highland, and we could use what you offered for reasons only we shall know. But do not fall behind and do not cause us to fall behind for any reason or we will leave you behind without hesitation. Also keep in mind we have no reason to trust you, but will do so for Highland’s sake alone, given how desperate things might be. Give us any reason to suspect you have ulterior motives than what you’ve stated in coming with us and we will also leave you behind. We do not care what you were in the past, but we will not hesitate to hurt you if you attempt to rob, and/or slay one, or both of us, we will not hesitate to hurt you. Try to convince one or both of us to sleep with you and we’ll leave you behind, whether you use words, or more. Thank the desperate situation Highland is in – the possible loss of its peace – for giving you this second chance if you were a criminal before, because Highland needs anything it can get. If things come to it, we will not hesitate to take your life, so I would advise not to press anything."

Relief flooded Eilie.

"Thank you, kind sirs!" she exclaimed gratefully.

One of the soldiers handed her his knife, sheath, and all, which she attached to her sash. It was only one, but it would do for now, most likely.

"Thank you for that too," she added.

"You’re welcome for both," the soldier responded gruffly. "You’re under our protection. Don’t even speak at the gate, just let us explain why you’re with us."

Eilie nodded in acquiescence, certainly having no intentions of pressing anything upon their fragile agreement.

"Now let’s get out of here before we change our minds!!" the soldier snarled, still none too pleased with the new addition to their party.

The soldiers bought an Entry Pass for Eilie and the three departed.

The guards let them by the gate without any commentary.

A half-hour later the walls of Muse were fading into the distance. A feeling of immense relief flooded the gypsy girl, and the feeling of being confined fled the young woman, replaced by the gentle relief of one who had passed through a trial, and emerged, save for the stinging gash in her right side, relatively okay.

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"Eilie" and "Suikoden 2" are (C) Konami. This chapter was posted on May 1, 2000