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"Final Showdown" Bleary, Jowal, and myself camped in a small forest clearing near Two River City. We all sat around our fire not saying anything much. No one was really in the mood to talk after our sorta near death experience. I figured it was as good a time as any to ask what exactly was going on. I tapped Jowal with a stick I was using to cook a squirrel dog (hot dog made of squirrel, very tasty, you should try one sometime). "Hey little man, what exactly is all this Tortoise plan and potential massacre stuff about," I asked quietly. "It's Turtle plans. They are plans to build the Juggernaut, a machine capable of wresting control of this area from the City-State and killing thousands of innocents to that end," Jowal replied simply. Wow, this was sounding really interesting. "And why does this Kumacho fellow wanna do that," I wanted to know. Jowal thought about this for a minute, then he shrugged. "I don't know, he's not exactly the sanest person around," he responded evenly. So, we were dealing with a run of the mill power-mad kobold of great influence, that's reassuring, I wanted to say, but then I decided they probably were thinking the same thing anyway. "What part do you play in all of this, lad," Bleary inquired roughly. Jowal fumed at that remark. "I am not a boy! I am 17 years old," he snapped derisively. Bleary was somewhat taken aback by this (as was I), after all, he looked no more than 13 or so, but if you looked him in the eyes, you could see that he was far from being a child, in both time and experiences. "You didn't answer my question," Bleary added persistently, but gently. Jowal calmed down and answered softly, "I stole the plans for him, Ok. But I didn't know what he was going to use them for honestly!" I laid one of my huge hands on his shoulder, "Don't worry. We believe ya." No one said anything. Eons passed. Stars died. "Okay, I've decided. Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna go destroy this Juggernaut thingie, anyone else wanta come," I said, looking at my comrades. "I might as well go. You still owe me, Amada," Bleary stated. I grinned, "Yeah, maybe I'll find somethin' to pay you with too." I shifted my gaze to Jowal, "What about you, buddy." Jowal looked away, "What can I do? I can't fight or anything." "You could guide us, ya know. We'd appreciate it," I told him. He seemed reluctant, "But Kumacho would kill me..." I frowned, hating what I was gonna say but knowing it had to be said, "This... is kinda your fault, ya know that and so do I. Even if ya didn't know what he was gonna do with 'em, you've gotta take responsibility for it. Besides, if we meet that Kumacho, Bleary and I will beat 'im so bad he'll wish he'd never been born." I paused, then added thoughtfully, "Though if he were a smart feller he'd wish we'd never been born instead. Makes more sense, ya see." Both of them nodded, not sure what to make of my sudden philosophical side. We decided that we'd go do all that stuff in the morning so we went to sleep early. "AGGGGGGGGGGGH," I groaned. I hated mornings, that's why I vowed to myself that I'd just sleep through 'em all. Saving the world (or even just Two River) really changes your lifestyle, ya know what I'm saying? I grabbed my stuff, which consisted of my oar and a small piece of moldy bread that'd been in my pocket so long that it probably had a civilization of it's own. Ten seconds later, their civilization came to an abrupt end when I polished it off (I'm VERY hungry after I wake up). Bleary and Jowal were ready so we trekked back towards Two River City. A thought occurred to me. We hadn't really thought about how we were gonna get in their without fighting our way through a brigade of kobold mobsters. I slowed down until I was walking even with Jowal, "Hey, know a way to this Juggernaut that's secret or something?" He appeared to think about this for a moment, then he answered, "The sewers. There's a secret passage into the "garage". That's were they're building it." I nodded. "Got it," I thanked him. We made it to the outskirts of the town and circled around until we could enter the sewer. Unfortunately, we had to wade through one bit, it was cold and I'm sure that I wasn't imagining it when I felt something brush my leg. We got in without any trouble and it took us a minute or two to find the switch. It consisted of a rather odd stone that was clearly visible, that is, if you happened to be stumbling through the sewers looking for a secret passage in order to prevent a catastrophic slaughter from occuring. Anyways, we made it in and crept along the hallway. Up ahead was a T-fork in the passage. Jowal went right so we followed him on down. We continued to follow 'im through a labryinth of antechambers until the passage opened into a HUGE room that was only dwarfed by the titanic mass of metal parts that, I assumed correctly, was the Juggernaut. "That's the Juggernaut," Bleary said unnecessarily. It was exactly what you'd expect of a large, unstoppable machine of indiscriminant death-dealing, except that it was indescribably ugly. It's what I imagine a creature would look like if it's dad had been a turtle and it's mom a rabbit, had they both been gigantic and made of metal, of course. "Well...how exactly do we destroy it," Bleary asked, peering at me intently. It hit me that I really hadn't considered this too much. "Um, maybe there's some sort of button we push or something," I suggested hopefully. Jowal groaned and Bleary just shook his head. "You guys have any better ideas," I snapped, agitated at my lack of foresight. Jowal disappeared and came back with a collection of papers. "These are the other plans, I say we should destroy them all so he can't build another. That's assuming we figure out how to obliterate that one," Jowal told me, flashing a rude one-fingered salute to the Juggernaut. "That won't be necessary," a voice rasped loudly from above. It was that kinda voice you never forget but wish you could. Everyone looked up at the Juggernaut searching for the owner of the voice. We didn't see Kumacho (quite obvious, wasn't it) but we were rewarded with another loud rasping noise, "I see this speaker invention does work. You have the honor of being the first to witness my power!" The Juggernaut squealed as it moved towards us. We looked at each other, silently asking what we should be doing right now. I said simply, "Uh...uh...run." Bleary and Jowal were off like a shot. Apparently, they'd only been waiting for me to make up my mind. I ran after them. I paused as we passed through one room and called a halt. I managed to gasp out, "It...gasp...can't...fit...gasp...in here." They agreed and we took a quick break. As I was resting, I couldn't help but notice a noise in the distance that seemed to be getting louder. It came from the direction of the Juggernaut, I thought. "What's that," Bleary asked, having a pretty good idea what it was. Suddenly, the wall stopped existing as it was brutally annihilated by the Juggernaut. We all decided it might be a good idea to run, so we ran as hard as we could (no one's ever accused me of slacking off!). It followed us no matter where we went. Then something came to me, "Hey everyone! Head for the River." I sincerely hoped that they had heard me. Even if they hadn't they did follow me back through the sewers and on out though that may have been due to some encouragement by the huge machine of destruction that was currently tailing us. We waded across the river and ran down the riverside. The Juggernaut burst out from the former sewers (I hear they did manage to rebuild it a couple of months later) and it continued to chase us. I managed a quick glance behind me and ascertained that, on the open ground it was gaining and that I'd better think of somethin' real fast. I grinned (harder than you imagine, when you're running for your life). I dived into the water and swam to the other shore. I have a feel for water and I could tell that this area was extremely deep. Jowal and Bleary quickly followed, the former simply flying across. The whole time all I could hear was maniacal giggling being projected by loudspeaker. Across the river, we watched the Juggernaut try to ford it. Kumacho discovered his mistake, but too late. He was screamin' and swearin' as he quickly disappeared under, but I thought it was rather funny. Jowal and Bleary must have thought I was crazy as I stood there howling at these events. "HAHAHAHA! WHAT AN IDIOT," I blurted, laughing until it started to hurt. I was still laughing when a certain kobold, hell-bent on revenge, surfaced with a knife in his teeth. I stopped laughing real quick then. Kumacho thrashed his way towards our shore and he was ANGRY! I heard a coupla thumps and turned around to see Bleary and Jowal slumped on the ground, snoring like a pair of buzzsaws. All I could do was watch in awe as he climbed ashore. He growled and hurled his knife at me. Thankfully, he was as unbalanced physically as he was mentally, so his throw was way off. While I was spurting some quick prayers, he drew out his sword and buckled a shield on. I recovered and said the first thing that came to mind, "Is that it? Ya wanna fight! (I don't know why, but duels are my way of saying anything from "DIE" or "I admire your strength" on to "Hello, how are you today?") Come on! I won't go easy on ya!" I almost regretted saying this as he looked like one tough mother. He glared at me and growled, "Stupid human, you shall die for your insolence!" With no further ado, we launched ourselves at each other. I swung my oar at 'im and he swung his sword at me. Our weapons locked for a fraction of a second before, with an audible snap, my oar broke. I kicked him in the knee (I fight to win, nuff said) and he stumbled past me. I couldn't help staring at poor "Rederick" (my oar's name, I'd had the fella ever since I began sailing as a kid). "MUWAHAHA! See what I mean! You stand no chance," the object of my hatred cackled. I felt a rage surge through my body, like nothing I'd ever experienced before. If gazes could've killed, Kumacho would've been hanging from a meat hook. That's when I did the one thing he hadn't expected, I tackled him. "YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN," I yelled, making my point with several harsh blows to his face. I had admire him, he took it all and then kicked my off him. He recovered quicker than me and caught me up in a Bear Hug. "Human, your end has come," He hissed, intent on ripping my throat out fangs first. Unfortunately for him, I beat him to it. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH," he screamed. You would too if someone had clamped their jaws on YOUR nose, besides, it's a well known fact that Kobolds had more sensitive noses to start with. He let me go and tried to run but, wasting no time, I picked up a sizable rock and brained him. He swayed for a moment before he gave up and passed out. *Ten minutes later* "I'm impressed. You beat him unarmed and unarmored," Bleary remarked mildly. "Yah well," was all I said. I still couldn't quite cope with the sudden end of my "Rederick". Poor oar, he went way before his time. Ah well, I'd just have to deal and move on, he gave his life protectin' me and he'd be upset if I took sulkin' up as a hobby. I decided to think about this later as it occurred to me that I was acting kinda weird. Jowal bent down on the now tied up Kumacho and plucked a hefty purse from his belt, then he passed to me, "It's yours. Consider it payment for services rendered." After some bickering, I persuaded the other two to accept their share of money. All in all, we got about three thousand potch apiece. "Well, glad that's over. Nice meetin' y'all, but I've gotta a business to run," I said cheerfully. "Hey! Forgetting something sir," Bleary asked, holding out a palm. It took me a sec to figure what he was askin' for. "Oh yah! Here," I said scooping two thousand potch into his hand. Bleary cleared his throat, "Sir, I'm afraid that you also have been issued a fine for Assaulting A Government Official, not to mention late tax payment penalties, and there is...." Well, after taxes, fines, etc. I ended up with three hundred potch, which added up with my expenses from staying at the Lakewest hotel, came out even.... I didn't make a cent. I did, however, return to Radat and resume my business. That's where I met her...but that's another story.
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